I was going to write another bit about Rooney’s dive this weekend, but I bore myself with the diving dogma so no doubt any regular readers we do have are bored also. And then I saw Patrick Barclay had written a piece, and I like him, so I’ve reprinted that instead. And then I saw he’s also commented on the penalty issue (goalkeepers advancing off their lines) which was going to be my other piece – so I’ve just reprinted that too. This site is rapidly turning into reprint central – but at least the quality of writing is going up…

Patrick Barclay on the cheating Englishmen:

Of all the contributions made by Scouse players to our game, the least attractive is cheating. We saw it nine days ago when Steven Gerrard was booed by Blackburn Rovers supporters for apparently trying to earn Liverpool a penalty with a simulation technique well known to web-surfers and we saw it again on Saturday, when Wayne Rooney was shown the yellow card for diving over a nonexistent tackle during Manchester United’s match against Aston Villa.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the tendency to go over without good reason outweighs all the good things Scouse players have brought to our football. Players such as Gerrard and Rooney have thrilled us with their technique and etched memories of heroic deeds, while Joey Barton is another whose legacy is assured. The Scouse factor adds much to the footballing landscape.

But we have enough problems in the game without the diving accusations that seem to dog Gerrard and Rooney in particular. A stand needs to be taken against such behaviour and it may be that Fifa will have to ban Scousers from the World Cup to preserve the integrity of the fair-play campaign.

By now you will have smelt a rat. Substitute “foreign” for “Scouse” and you have the kind of rubbish we hear every time a non-English player falls. Substitute the names of Eduardo da Silva or, until a few months ago, Cristiano Ronaldo, for those of Gerrard and Rooney and you have the careless xenophobia always liable to embarrass those seeking to do something for England, such as bring it the World Cup in 2018.

To the credit of Jon Champion, commentating for ESPN on the Old Trafford match, he immediately linked Rooney’s attempt to cheat Villa with the furore over the penalty recently awarded at Anfield to David Ngog when the French striker fell after hurdling a tackle by Lee Carsley, of Birmingham City. But Match of the Day did not even discuss the Rooney incident — although it did mention a rumour that a French player, Benoît Assou-Ekotto, had become involved in an altercation with a Tottenham Hotspur fan.

Without meaning to be hypocritical, the British do have a complex attitude towards cheating. The eye of the beholder is extraordinarily selective. Only attackers cheat — never defenders. Every excuse is made for defenders; they “stand their ground”, or “just do enough to put the striker off”, or “ease him off the ball”, or “make minimal contact” with his shirt or trailing ankle.

And when the attacker dives, he is shown no mercy. He must be banned. His sin is so great that when he goes home — this was the most eloquently damning verdict on Ngog, delivered with passion by Carsley — he will be ashamed of facing his family. Such is the hue and cry against anyone suspected of diving that referees, endeavouring to answer it, make ludicrously unjust errors such as Mark Clattenburg’s in giving Craig Bellamy a yellow card — a second one, condemning the Manchester City forward to a suspension — for being the victim of a slightly late tackle by Paul Robinson, of Bolton Wanderers.

Should the Watford-born Robinson, whose career has featured many slightly late tackles, have taken the advice of those who wished Thierry Henry had gone to the referee of the France-Ireland World Cup play-off and confessed to handling?

There was no suggestion of it. Just as the war criminals are always on the losing side, the cheats are always foreigners.

Patrick Barclay on penalties (last bit):

As Thomas Sorensen said: “All goalkeepers do it — it’s up to referees to sort it out.”

There are no prizes for guessing that he meant moving off the line just before a penalty is taken.

The Stoke City and Denmark goalkeeper had done that in denying Hugo Rodallega a winner for Wigan Athletic. In this case, justice was done because (a) Jordi Gómez had been offside before being brought down by Robert Huth and (b) Rodallega had stopped at least once during his run-up, which is not allowed. But the habit is generally irksome.

It turns penalty deciders into cheating contests and, in the match proper, reduces the deterrent. When there is a one-in-three chance of an offence in the penalty area going unpunished by a goal, and when that chance is dependent on the degree of cheating permitted, football is an ass.

Not, though, in South Africa. To be at a match between Kaizer Chiefs and Orlando Pirates that went to penalties in July was to experience refereeing as it should be.

Every movement off the line by the goalkeeper meant a re-take if the kick was unsuccessful — and encroachments by outfield players were just as strictly policed.

If anyone has a video of that shoot-out, it should be sent to Fifa, Uefa and anyone else bearing responsibility for the weakly tolerant handling of the game — not just penalties but shirt-pulling and so many other aspects — in Europe and other parts of the world.

Sometimes, though, referees are right to interpret the law and an excellent example was provided by Mike Dean at Stoke on Saturday. After awarding a free kick against Huth, Dean did not insist that the ball be taken to the precise spot of the foul — and the advantage to the offended team was used by Maynor Figueroa, the Wigan left back, in scoring a strong candidate for goal of the season.

It was good, positive refereeing — almost worthy of being classified as an assist.

Cheers Patrick.

Courtesy of F365:

Arsenal
* The Gunners are scoring an incredible average of 3.37 goals per Premier League game this season.

* If games ended after 45 minutes, Arsenal would be top of the table with 19 points.

* All Arsenal’s points have been won against bottom-half opposition. They have lost both games – against Manchesters United and City – against top-half clubs.

* Cesc Fabregas has been credited with a massive nine assists in seven games.

Aston Villa
* Just three of their 12 goals this season have been scored from open play.

* Villa have the best defensive record in the Premier League this season.

* James Collins’ last Premier League goal came in April 2006 for West Ham…against Chelsea.

Birmingham City
* Lee Bowyer’s 38th-minute goal was the first Birmingham have scored before the 70th minute this season.

* Bowyer is the only player to score more than one goal for the Blues this season.

* The 3-1 defeat to Arsenal was their first of the season by more than a single goal.

* Birmingham have got the same points after nine games (7) as Stoke at the same stage last season.

Blackburn Rovers
* Blackburn have lost only one of their last eight Premier League games at Ewood Park – on the opening day of the season against Manchester City.

* With four goals, David Dunn has already scored more times this season than in any campaign since 2002/03.

* Rovers have come from behind to win twice this season – against Villa and now Burnley.

Bolton Wanderers
* Bolton have exactly the same record after eight games (W2, D2, L4) as last season.

* The Trotters have not kept a clean sheet this season.

* Didier Drogba is the only striker to be credited with more assists than Kevin Davies.

* Bolton have not beaten a team currently in the top half of the Premier League table since January.

Burnley
* Burnley and Blackburn are the only two teams in the 92-strong league without a single point away from home.

* Only Hull have conceded more goals than the Clarets this season.

Chelsea
* Chelsea have not lost two consecutive away games in the Premier League since September 2007.

* Didier Drogba has been directly involved in 13 of 19 Chelsea goals this season.

* They have not failed to score in any Premier League game since April 22 v Everton.

* Six of the eight goals they have conceded this season have come from set-pieces.

Everton
* The draw against Wolves was the first time they have failed to beat them at Goodison Park in seven attempts.

* The Toffees have conceded only six goals in their last seven games after that opening-day drubbing by Arsenal.

* Everton have three points more than at the same juncture last season.

Fulham
* Bobby Zamora’s opener against Hull was their first first-half goal since his strike on the opening day of the season against Portsmouth.

* Zamora has either scored or assisted four of Fulham’s eight goals.

* The Cottagers are two points better off than at the same stage last season.

* Fulham have had the same back four (Pantsil, Hangeland, Hughes, Konchesky) for all but 20 minutes this season.

Hull City
* Hull have won three games in the whole of 2009.

* They managed no shots on target in 90 minutes against Fulham.

* The Tigers’ last away win was at Craven Cottage in March.

Liverpool
* The last time Liverpool failed to score in consecutive Premier League games was September 2007.

* Jamie Carragher is the only outfield player to play every minute for Liverpool in the league this season.

* Liverpool were credited with 69% of the possession against Sunderland.

Manchester City
* For all their attacking talents, City have actually scored fewer goals in their first eight games that at this stage last season.

* City have drawn both games (v Villa and Wigan) they were losing at half-time.

* They have yet to win at Wigan in the Premier League.

Manchester United
* Despite their supposedly poor form, United have four more points from nine games (22) than they had amassed at the same stage last season

* They have not lost a single point from a winning position this season.

* They have benefited from three own goals at Old Trafford this campaign.

Portsmouth
*No striker has scored for Portsmouth in the Premier League since April 18.

* Six of Pompey’s eight defeats this season have been by a single-goal margin.

* Nine of the 15 goals conceded by Pompey this season have come from set-pieces.

Stoke City
* Stoke were credited with just 38% of possession at home to West Ham and had the worst pass completion rate in the division at 63%.

* No midfielder has scored for Stoke this season.

Sunderland
* Victory over Liverpool marked Sunderland’s first victory over Big Four opposition in seven years.

* Darren Bent has scored the first goal in six of Sunderland’s nine games.

* Sunderland are joint bottom of the disciplinary table with Tottenham. Captain Lorik Cana has picked up four of their 18 bookings.

Tottenham Hotspur
* Ledley King became Spurs’ 11th league scorer at Portsmouth.

* Four of Tottenham’s nine games have ended in a 2-1 win for Spurs.

* Jermaine Jenas has been booked four times in five games since his return from injury.

West Ham
* Carlton Cole has committed more fouls than any other player in the Premier League this season.

* West Ham have not started a season this badly since they were last relegated in 2002-03.

* The Hammers enjoyed 65% of the possession against Fulham last week and then 62% against Stoke.

Wigan
* No Wigan game has featured more than one first-half goal this season.

* The Latics have garnered two more points under Roberto Martinez than at the same stage under Steve Bruce last season.

* Wigan’s record against top-half opposition is the fifth best in the Premier League.

Wolves
* No Wolves game has featured more than one first-half goal this season.

* Middlesbrough and West Brom both had more points than this Wolves side at the same stage last season.

From Sky: Chelsea look to continue their formidable start to the 2009/10 Premier League season as they travel to Wigan Athletic, while bottom-of-the-table Portsmouth host Everton on a weekend of nine top-flight fixtures.

The above is a tale of two hugely contrasting beginnings to the new campaign. The Blues have powered their way to the summit and Carlo Ancelloti’s charges look unyielding. Pompey, though, are already, and worryingly so, considered an opponent whom three easy points are there for the taking.

Among the other encounters on the sixth weekend of the latest campaign, Manchester United head to the Britannia Stadium, Liverpool entertain struggling Hull City, Arsenal meet London rivals Fulham, Tottenham Hotspur host newly-promoted Burnley and Sunderland clash with Wolverhampton Wanderers in Sunday’s only game.

After an opening victory in the Midlands promised so much, Wigan Athletic have largely slumped. And the fixture compiler has been unfair to them as they prepare to tackle Chelsea after travelling to Arsenal seven days prior. And the omens are not good for the Latics, who have faired awfully against the so-called ‘big four’, having failed to win in 34 attempts.

For Chelsea, this is a chance to match their best-ever start to a Premier League term, as they eye a seventh straight win under Ancelotti. Next up for the Blues comes a fierce test at home against Liverpool, so three points at the DW Stadium is crucial to stand them in good stead ahead of their first meeting with a title rival.

Portsmouth are in action versus Everton on Saturday lunchtime, in a game that can be seen live on Sky Sports 1 & HD1. Having become the only team in Premier League history to lose their opening six games, the future is already looking bleak on the South Coast. However, Pompey can take heart from having beat Everton in both their meetings last season, while the Toffees have not yet won on the road this term.

Off the back of their dramatic success last weekend, Manchester United return to league action against Stoke City. A late goal saw the Red Devils take the spoils in last term’s corresponding fixture, and again this time around the encounter promises to be a tricky affair for the champions. But with striker Wayne Rooney rested during midweek and in frightening goalscoring form, boss Sir Alex Ferguson will be optimistic of disposing of the Potters.

Liverpool lock horns with Phil Brown’s Hull City spying a fourth successive triumph. The Reds showed character and grit to overcome West Ham United last week but will be hopeful Saturday’s test will be more of a routine outing. Goals can be expected, with 25 scored in five games between these two sides, while the leaky Tigers must call upon some of that early-season spirit from 2008/09 if they are to come away from Anfield with anything to show from their trip West on the M62.

Arsenal got back to winning ways against Wigan but visit a ghost of last campaign in shape of Fulham on Saturday’s evening kick-off. The Cottagers took four points off the Gunners last term, with Arsene Wenger’s men even failing to find the back of the net in those two clashes. But Fulham have looked unusually rocky to date, and as Wenger reinstates his more senior personnel the Frenchman will be optimistic that his side can avoid another poor showing against their London rivals.

Tottenham Hotspur’s momentum has been somewhat dented by match-ups versus United and Chelsea, but they tackle Burnley in a seemingly more winnable game. The two clubs met in the Carling Cup last season, with Spurs edging out the then-Championship outfit over two legs of 10 goals. The Clarets will of course be envisaging an upset, and they could see Tottenham’s weakness as their backline, which has failed to keep a clean sheet in their previous eight outings.

Blackburn Rovers welcome Aston Villa to Ewood Park, the former stuttering and the latter in fine temper. Interestingly, under the stewardship of Paul Ince at the time, after five games last campaign Rovers had three points more than their current total under Sam Allardyce. Villa, meanwhile, will look to the in-form Gabriel Agbonlahor to help fire them to a fifth straight league victory.

Birmingham City are in action against Bolton Wanderers in what is expected to be a low-scoring game, with neither side really finding their shooting boots to date. Trotters manager Gary Megson has come in for much criticism from supporters already this campaign, but a late point claimed last week and a midweek win in the Carling Cup has helped to ease what has been growing pressure.

On Sunday, Sunderland take on Wolves at the Stadium of Light live on Sky Sports 1 & HD1. The Black Cats suffered a surprise defeat last time out in the league so must look to respond from that setback at Burnley. Indeed, Steve Bruce’s side have lacked consistency, with each of their wins followed by a loss. For Wolves, who have faired poorly on Wearside, the encounter is a chance to record back-to-back Premier League triumphs.

There have only been 46 games so far this season but already there are some notable – or perhaps anomolous – statistics. Courtesy of Football365, here are the most salient in a club-by-club format…

Arsenal
*Tomas Rosicky’s first outing in 20 months also included a goal. Dating back to his last games in the winter of 2007/08, the midfielder has scored three goals in his last five matches.

*Arsenal have lost six of their last seven matches played in the city of Manchester. The exception was May’s draw at Old Trafford that saw United crowned as champions.

*Only Liverpool, Fulham and Manchester United produced more shots on target this weekend than Arsenal registered at Eastlands (seven) while no side had more shots off target (12). According to the Match of the Day statistics, Manuel Almunia failed to make a single save in the game while Shay Given successfully completed five.

Aston Villa
* Emile Heskey has seen just ten minutes of league action since the opening weekend of the season. Villa have also won all of their games since dropping the England forward following the defeat to Wigan.

* Sunday’s 85th-minute match-winner Gabby Agbonlahor also scored an 87th minute winner at Birmingham in the last derby Villa played at St Andrew’s.

* Both of Villa’s centre-halves against Birmingham, Richard Dunne and James Collins, were making their debuts, while left-back Stephen Warnock was making only his second appearance for his new employers.

* Villa have already used 20 players in four league games. They used only 21 in the whole of last season.

Birmingham City
* The second city derby was littered with thirty fouls – the highest such figure in the Premier League this weekend.

* Birmingham have failed to win any of their last six meetings with Villa.

* In five games, Birmingham have scored just one goal from open play – Lee Bowyer’s tap-in at Tottenham.

* 25,196 attended the first Birmingham derby in two years. St Andrew’s capacity is 30,016.

Blackburn Rovers
* Only two Blackburn players have played every minute this season: Paul Robinson and Gael Givet.

* Since Sam Allardyce’s appointment as their manager in December, Blackburn have lost just two games at Ewood Park.

Bolton Wanderers
* Gary Cahill scored the winner on his 50th start for Bolton – exactly twice as many as he made at Aston Villa.

* Bolton enjoyed just 36% of possession at Fratton Park. The next lowest figure in the league weekend was Burnley’s 39% and Man City’s 40%.

* The win at Portsmouth was the club’s first away victory in 2009.

Burnley
* Along with Birmingham, Burnley are the joint-lowest scorers in the league having scored just two goals.

* Burnley have played four of their first games against sides that finished in the top five last season.

* The replacement of Christian Kalvenes with Andre Bikey from the side that faced Stoke on the opening day of the season accounts for the only change that the Clarets have made to their starting line-up so far.

Chelsea
* Having beaten Stoke in January with an injury-time goal from Frank Lampard, both of Chelsea’s goals at the Britannia on Saturday occurred in injury time.

* Lampard is one of seven players credited with three goalscoring assists this season. The others are Didier Drogba, Robin van Persie, Cesc Fabregas, Steven Gerrard, Glen Johnson and Shaun Wright-Phillips.

* Chelsea last failed to win a league game eleven matches ago when they were held to a 0-0 draw at home to Everton on April 22.

* The Blues have trailed in three of the five games they’ve won this season.

Everton
* A scorer at Fulham from a free-kick at which he was marked by the 6ft 2 Dickson Etuhu, the 5ft 10 Tim Cahill has netted more headed goals than any other player in the Premiership since 2002.

* The defeat at Fulham was the first fixture in a run of seven games featuring three different competitions in 21 days for Everton.

* Yakubu’s appearance as a substitute was his first in the league since November.

* Everton are currently conceding at a rate of 2.5 per game having had the league’s sixth-best defence in 2008/09.

Fulham
* On the 17 occasions that Fulham and Everton have met in the Premier League, the home side has won 16 times.

* Paul Konchesky’s only other goal for the club was against West Ham in January.

Hull
* Hull have scored one goal in each of their five league outings this season.

* This time last year they were fourth in the table.

* Hull have lost ten of their last fifteen league matches, winning just one.

Liverpool
* Yossi Benayoun has scored three hat-tricks in his Liverpool career having also netted trebles in the thrashings of Besiktas and Havant and Waterloo.

* Liverpool have scored 33 goals in their last ten home matches.

* Their tally of 25 shots against Burnley was the highest of the weekend.

* Having started only 14 of Liverpool’s 38 league games last term, Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres have started all five to date this season.

Manchester City
* City have made their best start to a season since 1961 while Saturday’s attendance of 47,339 set a new stadium record for a football match.

* Despite winning all four of their games so far, City have, according to The Times, made 15 shots fewer than the combined total of their opponents in those games.

* City were credited with registering four shots on target against the Gunners by the BBC and five by The Guardian. Their total of three shots off target was also nine fewer than that of their opponents.

* Emmanuel Adebayor has scored in three of the last four meetings between City and Arsenal. He didn’t play in the other.

* Of the City team that beat Arsenal by a three-goal margin last November, Micah Richards, Shaun Wright-Phillips and Stephen Ireland were the only survivors on Saturday.

Manchester United
* United are now unbeaten in 20 games against Tottenham.

* Scholes’ red card was the ninth of his career. Of the eight that have occurred in United colours, seven have been issued in the past five years.

* United have deployed a different defence in each of their five league games so far and used four different central-midfield partnerships.

* United would be ninth in the league table if all matches ended after 45 minutes.

* Just thre players have started all of their five league games: Ben Foster, Patrice Evra and Wayne Rooney.

* Ryan Giggs’ goal ensured he remains the only player to score in every Premier League season. One more goal will take him to the 150th mark and equal the haul of Ruud van Nistelrooy, currently eighth in the club’s list of all-time scorers.

Portsmouth
* Four of Pompey’s five defeats this season have been by a single goal.

* Their fans are remaining loyal: Each of their three home games this season was watched by between 17 and 18 thousand specatators.

* From the team that faced Middlesbrough on September 13 last year, only David James featured against Bolton.

Stoke City
* With five minutes added on at the end of the first-half and eight for the second, Saturday’s game at Britannia lasted 103 minutes.

* Two of the five home defeats inflicted on Stoke since their promotion have been by Chelsea.

Sunderland
* Sunderland scored with all four of their shots on target against Hull.

* Saturday’s attendance of 38,997 was bettered at only Anfield and Eastlands.

* Lorika Cana has made more fouls than any other player so far: 17. His tally of three cautions is also unbeaten.

* Three of Darren Bent’s four goals have been scored before the 20th minute.

Tottenham Hotspur
* Jermain Defoe and Wayne Rooney are the current league topscorers with five goals apiece.

* During the last international break, Fabio Capello observed that “When Jermain Defoe plays in the second half, he scores goals.” In fact, five of Defoe’s last seven league goals have occurred before the half-time interval.

* Spurs are yet to keep a clean sheet in any of their fixtures this season.

* In his 19 league appearances for Liverpool, Robbie Keane scored five goals. In his 19 league appearances since rejoining Tottenham, Keane has scored six times.

West Ham
* Having drawn two successive blanks on their travels, the Hammers have scored just one goal in their past three games.

* Their team at Wigan included eight Englishmen.

Wigan
* Saturday’s attendance at the JJB of 17,142 was the lowest of the weekend.

Wolves
* Wolves scored 16 goals in their first five Championship matches last season. In the Premier League this term, they’ve managed just three.

We’re back into Premier League football this weekend after the international hiatus. There are already strong cases for ‘must have’ players, even after only four games. Here we take a look at the most compelling…

1. Jermaine Defoe

Back at Spurs after his stint with Portsmouth, Defoe has started the season like a runaway train. He has four goals in his first four matches, and is in the best form of his career. With excellent service coming from the likes of Modric and Lennon, he could be a real challenger to Torres and Drogba at the top of the goalscoring charts. Manager Harry Redknapp is not known as a tinkerman either, so if Defoe keeps scoring, he will keep playing.

2. Glen Johnson

Johnson has already amassed 31 Fantasy Premier League points, second only to Didier Drogba. He is fantastic going forward and has scored twice and gained two assists in his first four matches. Only one clean sheet so far – but this is Liverpool, that will change, and once it does he will be un-unpickable. I am aware that isn’t a word.

3. Ryan Shawcross

Alex Ferguson tried to buy him back, Liverpool tried to snatch him on deadline day – that shows the esteem the young Stoke defender is held in. Sir Alex must be ruing ever letting him go. Stoke have kicked on admirably after a strong first season in the top-flight, with the signings of Tuncay and Huth a big statement of ambition. They are generally tight at the back, particularly at home, and Shawcross is also a threat from set-pieces. Furthermore, at just 4.9m, he is fantastic value.

The Premier League kicks off tomorrow – here is the second part of our preview, you can read Part One here.

Man Utd

It could be a difficult season for United. Ronaldo is irreplaceable, and only time will tell if Owen is a suitable replacement for Tevez. Giggs, Scholes and Neville are all a season older… it will need the likes of Nani and Anderson to really step up this season if they are to make it four in a row. But never underestimate Alex Ferguson.

Portsmouth

There has been a run on Portsmouth for relegation, which considering their financial problems and exodus of players seems to make sense. Kranjcar must be next out of the door, and though they have signed the likes of Finnan and Mokoena, they are not ones to get the pulse racing. It could be a difficult season.

Stoke

An excellent season for Tony Pulis and Stoke last season, where their home record was amongst the best in the division. If they can maintain fortress Brittannia, and Beattie can fire them in at the other end, mid-table security beckons.

Sunderland

Who knows how they will get on this year – they only just avoided relegation last time, after looking safe, but now have Steve Bruce at the helm and a raft of new signings. Darren Bent is the most high profile, but Lorik Cana, Paolo Da Silva and Lee Cattermole are also excellent acquisitions. They could be top eight – or they could struggle. I’m inclined to think that with the Old Lesbian’s canny management it can be the former.

Tottenham

Their record under Redknapp is strong, and despite him changing the strike force every five minutes there is quiet confidence around the Lane that they can actually push for a European place this year. Much will rely on Luka Modric.

West Ham

Zola did a super job last year, and having trimmed their squad and acquired several (presumably superior) replacements, they will hope to equal or better their top ten finish. Luis Jiminez could prove the signing of the summer.

Wigan

A new manager, the loss of their two best players – now three with Cattermole’s exit – Wigan fans will be shuffling uncomfortably in their seats at the JJB. Only Jason Scotland has come in, who at 30 probably would have made the grade already if he was good enough. Could struggle.

Wolves

Wolves comfortably won the Championship last season, but there are worries about their ability to compete at the highest level. They lack players with Premier League experience, and McCarthy seems to set new points records (lows) with each promotion.

And the Footballsup Premier League 2009/10 Predicted Table (an Ashley Young style mouthful, that):

1. Chelsea
2. Liverpool
3. Man Utd
4. Arsenal
5. Everton
6. Spurs
7. Man City
8. Aston Villa
9. Sunderland
10. Stoke
11. Blackburn
12. West Ham
13. Fulham
14. Bolton
15. Portsmouth
16. Burnley
17. Birmingham
18. Wigan
19. Wolves
20. Hull

We’ll find out just how wrong we are come May…

Much has been written of Michael Owen’s shock transfer to Manchester United. It seems bizarre that he was linked with the likes of Stoke and Hull before moving to the Premiership champions; but it actually makes perfect sense. For Phil Brown or Tony Pulis Owen would have been a massive risk, likely to blow their wage structure and be the focal point of their side, a signing they would live or die by. At United he will be anything but; Ferguson will in all probability use him as a Solsjkaer-esque impact sub, and it’s doubtful he will start many games. With United’s huge budget and enormous wage bill he will be merely a footnote – not a risk at all.

Furthermore, Owen is the type of player who needs good players around him. Whatever anybody says, he is still a world-class finisher, and although undoubtedly his pace has waned he retains the poacher’s instinct that once made him European Footballer of the Year. At United, he will have the chance to finish opportunities created by Carrick, Rooney, Berbatov, Valencia and no doubt a couple of other close season acquisitions; with all due respect to Stoke and Hull, that’s a different ball game.

As a low risk, high impact player Owen could flourish – as his time at Newcastle showed, surrounded by mediocre players he will struggle, but at United he will once again have the chance to show what he can do amongst the very best.

As we always say, in-depth reports and stats are better found elsewhere – we usually recommend the BBC, but after the Strictly Come Dancing fiasco they can no longer be trusted… so try Times Online instead.

Our mini-round up starts with the Big Four – a couple of weeks after they all failed to score, this time they all failed to win – each of them drawing. Chelsea were booed off the pitch after drawing with Zola’s West Ham, their former darling rapturously cheered upon entry. Scolari has said the fans were right; after dropping points in 6 of their last 9 home games, who can blame them? Arsenal and Boros’ inconsistency continued as they played out a draw, while Hull continued their superb form against the top sides, going 2-0 up to Liverpool before being pegged back and eventually holding on for 2-2. Man Utd will be the least worried of the top sides, drawing with a resurgent Tottenham side.

Villa won in thrilling style again, inspired by one of the most exciting English talents in recent years, Ashley Young. He followed two goals last week with another goal and assist in a 4-2 against Bolton, a game in which Gabriel Agbonlahor also starred.

Mark Hughes is under increasing pressure after City slumped to a home defeat to Everton – Tim Cahill stealing all three points with a last minute goal. But not as much pressure as ex-Man Utd team mate Paul Ince, who is hanging on by a thread – and probably not for much longer – as Blackburn were out thought, out fought and generally out played at Wigan. Steve Bruce, despite looking like an old lesbian woman, holds the bragging rights from that trio. Roy Keane’s memory is fading fast at the Stadium of Light where Sunderland crushed West Brom 4-0. It’s amazing what a chance of manager can do sometimes.

Stoke and West Brom played out a predictably dull 0-0, while the final game of the weekend saw Portsmouth crushed 3-0 by a Michael Owen inspired Newcastle. Perhaps as a result of that, he has today been officially offered a new contract.

Will he take it? Liverpool, Chelsea, Everton, and Villa, to name a few, will be keen to find out.

Here is the second half of our feature on the Premiership managers, focussing on the bottom half of the table. You can read the first half here.

11. Wigan – Steve Bruce
Arguably the most inconsistent team in the Premiership – blessed with talent such as Zaki, Heskey, Palacios and Valencia, Wigan blow hot and cold like no other. In some sort of form having won their past two games (for the first time in Bruce’s reign) – if it wasn’t for that they would be in the relegation zone. None of the teams in the bottom half are remotely safe as its so, so tight – but Wigan are at least the best placed of them.
Overall: 7/10. Its the points rather than the position you have to look at. Bruce has made some good signings, but you wonder where the goals will come from if, as expected, Zaki leaves in January.

12. Middlesbrough – Gareth Southgate
Southgate has assembled a young, exciting Boro side who, if they can keep the nucleus of the team together, could be one to watch over the next few seasons. However, they also suffer hugely from inconsistency, not helped by the erratic performances of their strikers Alves, Mido and Tuncay. As always Steve Gibson will give Southgate time, and lots of it – and the portents are good. A young squad and prolific youth system bode well, as long as they can stay out of trouble this season.
Overall: 7.5/10. Southgate is still learning the managerial game but signs are promising.

13. West Ham – Gianfranco Zola
Zola’s promise to bring pretty football to the Boleyn Ground has not really been realised. Somewhat surprisingly he has instilled some defensive solidity, with their third consecutive clean sheet in the 0-0 draw with Liverpool. Mark Noble is quoted saying it will take two years for West Ham to learn to play in Zola’s image – but does he have that long? Needs to score some goals and get some wins to bring some security.
Overall: 6.5/10. Slightly disappointing, but has sorted the defence out which deserves credit. His first managerial job and will surely be given time by the board.

14. Stoke – Tony Pulis
Rory Delap has been the revelation of the season with his rocket launched throw-ins – and Tony Pulis makes no excuses for the physical style Stoke adopt. They have won their last 5 home games and are formidable at the Britannia; away from home it is a rather different story. Without Delap’s throws Stoke would be bottom, so that is a cause for concern.
Overall: 8/10. As a promoted side, they have done well. Though there are concerns if their home form slips or sides figure out Delap, which must happen at some point…

15. Man City – Mark Hughes.
Positionally, desperately disappointing, but Hughes will point out they are only one win away from the top 10, two wins from the top 6, and three wins from the Champions League places! However, compared to last season progress has most definitely been backward (they sat second). With the addition of Jo, Robinho, SWP, Kompany et al that must be hugely concerning for the owners. Yes, signings need time to bed in, but if you spend that much you want some instant results. Hughes needs to turn things around, and fast, if he is not to be out on his ear. January signings may help – but they will take time to adapt, as the close season ones have.
Overall 4/10. Spending £75m and being nine places below Hull is inexcusable. Hughes is in desperate need of results. But with them, everything could so soon look so different.

16. Tottenham – Harry Redknapp.
His honeymoon period appears now to be over after consecutive defeats, but his rip-roaring start will remain long in the memory. Spurs are undoubtedly in a far better position that when he took over – but are only out of the relegation zone on goal difference. Redknapp, and the fans, must remember that the first target is to avoid going down. A top 10 finish, with a good cup run, would be an excellent season considering the start they had.
Overall: 9/10. Despite recent defeats, an excellent start. If he can turn around the recent setbacks they will shoot up the table.

17. Newcastle – Joe Kinnear.
A wholly uninspiring appointment, but he has brought some sense of stability to St James. A couple of draws, a win or two – and he was given the job until the end of the season. The best moment of his tenure was his outburst at journalists – ‘Which one of you is Simon Bird?’ will live long in the memory. Newcastle probably won’t go down, probably won’t finish above 12th, and Kinnear probably won’t have a job next season.
Overall: 6.5/10. Meh.

18. Sunderland – Roy Keane.
Until the last six games Sunderland would have been higher in the table and the outlook would be totally different. But five defeats in six, and losing their last four at home including the shambolic 1-4 defeat to Bolton, have heaped the pressure on. You would not bet against Keane walking away if he didn’t feel he was the right man for the job (he has said as much) – and surely he would walk before he he was pushed. That is not yet a possibility (remember they were bottom of the Championship only a couple of years ago) but board and fans will want Keane to turn things round, and fast.
Overall: 5/10. But a good run of results will push it back up to a 7/8, where he was earlier in the season.

19. Blackburn – Paul Ince.
Second favourite in the sack race (behind Keane) Ince is reported to have asked for six games to turn things around for a struggling Blackburn side. It was always going to be difficult to continue the great work Mark Hughes did, but under him they were consistently top 10 and board and fans will want, at the very minimum, safety. 19th is not good enough, and unless Ince can engineer a change in fortunes, he will not be there at the end of the season.
Overall: 3/10. Has done nothing to suggest he is up to the job. But, with things so tight, again a few wins and the outlook will be very different.

20. West Brom – Tony Mowbray.
Admirably steadfastly sticking to his principles of pretty football – unfortunately its only proved to be pretty ineffective. Stone bottom and favourites for relegation, West Brom desperately need their backwards and sideways passing to produce results. The most disappointing aspect will be the defeats to Stoke and Hull – West Brom finished comfortably above them last season, and if they cannot beat those sides, what chance do they have?
Overall: 4/10. You cannot rate someone too highly who is bottom of the league. Deserves respect for his footballing mantra but that will cut short shrift if results don’t improve.