You know – Mark Watson the comedian, who cant pronounce his ‘r’s. It’s actually pretty good, and quite amusing in places – much funnier than anything I can/have do/done anyway. You can find it at http://backofthenet.markwatsonthecomedian.com/.

I can’t help but read it in his funny voice though…

Click the image below to visit.

We’ve been promising it for a while… but now all stories are indexed with the subject club, and you can access all of those about your team – or indeed any (Premier League only currently) team, by clicking here.

As you can see from recent activity, we’re frantically trying to update the site ready for the new season…

Cesc Fabregas is alleged to have spat at Hull assistant manager Brian Horton last night after Arsenal’s 2-1 win over Hull. He has categorically denied it, and Phil Brown has categorically stated that is happened – so at best one is seriously mistaken, at worst one is outright lying.

LATEST:

Brian Horton is reporting Cesc to the LMA – no smoke without fire? Read more here.

As it is alleged to have happened in the tunnel, away from the prying eyes of the proliferation of TV cameras, we will probably never know the truth. But as a huge fan of Arsenal and Fabregas in particular, and a dislike for Phil Brown as a moaning, attention seeking Sam Allardyce wannabe, I’m going to side with the Gunners. Below is the original story, and match reaction, taken from the BBC:

Hull City manager Phil Brown accused Arsenal’s Cesc Fabregas of spitting at his assistant Brian Horton at the end of their stormy FA Cup quarter-final.

Arsenal scored twice late on to win 2-1 at the Emirates and seal a last-four date against Chelsea at Wembley.

Brown said: “For their club captain Cesc Fabregas to spit at my assistant at the end of the game shows you what this club is all about.”

Fabregas, who was out injured, later strenuously denied the allegation.

“I categorically deny that I spat at anybody after the match,” said the 21-year-old Gunners midfielder.

“I have never done this in my whole career on the pitch, so why would I do it when I am not even playing?

“I can understand the frustration of losing a game to a dubious goal – that has happened to me many times in my career as well – but this is not the fault of me or any of the Arsenal players.”

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger said he knew nothing about the incident.

“I know nothing about that at all. I’m not a specialist to create newspaper stories or to create things that are minor that might have happened in the tunnel. I’m sorry, I can’t speak about something I haven’t seen,” stated Wenger.

Fabregas, who is recovering from knee surgery, joined his team-mates on the pitch at the final whistle after two goals in the last 16 minutes from Robin van Persie and a disputed header from William Gallas cancelled out Nick Barmby’s early strike.

Brown added: “I was there and I witnessed it, he spat at my assistant manager down the tunnel, that’s their club captain. Hopefully he’s proud of himself. He spat at his feet.”

Hull’s boss was furious after the defeat, accusing referee Mike Riley and his officials of succumbing to pressure from Arsenal and boss Wenger – and the game ended without the two managers shaking hands.

Brown claimed: “The game was turned on its head when the referee succumbed to local pressure.”

He also condemned his Arsenal counterpart’s behaviour as the Emirates crowd taunted Hull for what they saw as time-wasting.

He said: “Mr Wenger decides to join in and the result is my goalkeeper getting booked in the second half.

“Arsene Wenger got my goalkeeper booked. You call that good management? He was complaining about time-wasting. It’s an absolute disgrace.”

Asked about Wenger’s failure to shake his hand at the final whistle, Brown said: “He never does.”

Brown insisted: “We haven’t been beaten by Arsenal, and they are fourth top of the Premier League. We have been beaten by a linesman’s decision and a referee’s decision for Gallas’ goal.”

We’ve found an excellent list of the best online football based games – http://myfootballgames.co.uk. We’ll get round to playing and reviewing all of these eventually, but read on for our first; Roberto Baggio’s Magical Kicks (click here to access it).

The best way to do this is probably for me to recount a story from my University days, when I first stumbled across this gem. With abundant time and a fascination for football games, I made it my immediate ambition to top the all time leaderboard. No mean feat, as the leader had several thousand successful ‘kicks’ at the time. It’s addictiveness and longevity is proven by my assault, which lasted several days (an hour or two per evening, often after getting in from a night out), then weeks – after about six weeks, without turning off my laptop, I had crept up to about sixth, with several hundred kicks to my name.

At this juncture I should mention there is no ‘save’ function, so your score is dynamic, and when you navigate away or close the window, that’s your final total. So imagine my distress when, upon coming back from a rare venture to a lecture, I opened the door to my room, firstly to be met with the sweet smell of cleanliness that marked a visit by the cleaner, then the gut wrenching feeling of panic as I saw the plug from my laptop lying loose on the floor.

No, no… it couldn’t be. After all my weeks of hard work propelling myself up the leaderboard, the cleaner had replaced my laptop plug with that of the hoover! Without any save function, I was doomed. My stomach tightened. I was short of breath. Suddenly it occured to me; what if it had gone to standby in battery mode?! There was still hope! I dropped everything on the floor, swept up my little Dell laptop, and with a deep breath, pressed the power button. Nothing. I pressed and held it a little longer. Nothing. I sat, demoralised and inconsolable. All my work out of the window. Gone, like that, in one fell swoop.

My one hope was that my score had somehow been saved, cached, registered, anything. I plugged it in. I turned it on. Nothing on Baggio’s Magical Kicks. No record of my hard work, dedication, and persistence. I was a broken man. I took one to console myself. I scored. I took another. I got comfortable. This wasn’t over yet…

Chelsea fan Andrew Walker recalls two great Champions League moments…

Chelsea and Barcelona have carved out one of the most fascinating rivalries of the modern Champions League era. Their meetings in recent years have produced huge drama, and some goals of supreme quality.

Two stand out as true moments of genius.

Ronaldinho’s strike at Stamford Bridge gave Barca a precious second away goal, before John Terry’s late header saw Chelsea win 4-2 on the night and progress. No back lift, outside of the boot, and arguably the best goalkeeper in the world did not move a muscle. Genius.

Frank Lampard can always be relied upon to deliver for Chelsea on the big stage. His group stage equaliser in the Nou Camp was an exquisite chip from an impossible angle. Most players would not possess the vision to attempt the shot, let alone the ability to execute it. Genius.

With the possiblity of the two sides renewing rivalries in the latter stages of the 2008/09 Champions League, we can look forward to more moments to savour.

All the Big Four won, keeping the top of the table the same (well not the same – different points and goal difference, but you know what I mean…)

This meant Blackburn lost – again – as did Sunderland, more unluckily (Vidic scoring in the 90th minute when playing as an auxiliary striker). With Keane gone, you do not have to look much further from Ewood Park for the next managerial casualty.

Hull got back to winning ways against Boro, and both other games were 1-1; Fulham Man City, and today West Brom and Portsmouth.

There are currently five minutes left in the Everton Villa game, a big match for both sides that looks to be going to the away side thanks to a horrific Phil Jagielka error letting in Ashley Young.

A London derby – Spurs West Ham – rounds off this week’s action. There’s also Champions League this week, with English sides likely to rest players – except Chelsea, who face the frightening prospect of failing to qualify if they don’t win.

As ever, results, scorers etc from all the divisions are best from the BBC.

15 games in, how have the Premiership managers fared so far this season? We take a look…

1. Chelsea – ‘Big Phil’ Scolari

Up until a couple of weeks ago, there would have been no complaints. But after home defeats to both Liverpool and Arsenal in the last few games, along with stuttering progress (not yet secured) in the Champions League, serious questions are now being asked. Deco has gone off the boil, Lampard has not scored in five, and striking options are limited. Fortress Stamford Bridge has been impregnated – twice – are the wheels coming off? Taking stock, Chelsea are still top of the Premiership and on course for the CL knock-out stages – but all is not well at the Bridge. Chelsea, and Scolari, will hope this is a blip rather than a taste of what’s to come.
Overall – 8/10. Pushed up by a strong start, but the rating is falling fast…

2. Liverpool – Rafa Benitez

For the first season in living memory Liverpool are challenging for the title at Christmas, for which Rafa must take huge credit. They have beaten Man Utd and Chelsea, and won games they would not have in the last few seasons. Champions League progress is assured. However, all of this has been done without playing well! That could be seen as a good thing; but they’ll have to improve to actually win anything.
Overall: 9/10. But need to play better to get glory.

3. Alex Ferguson – Man Utd

The usual stuttering start from the Champions, but now only five points off the summit with a game in hand (although Liverpool go eight clear with a win tonight). They have looked assured in the Champions League, qualifying easily, and Christmas is traditionally their best period. However, there are concerns over Ronaldo, who despite scoring lots of goals has not looked his irrepressible self, and also over the effect Berbatov has had on Utd’s playing style. Nevertheless, they will be there or thereabouts come the end of the season, that is for sure. Whether Tevez will be there is another matter.
Overall 8/10. Will be disappointed to be slightly off the pace, but now clicking into gear like the well oiled machine they are.

4. Arsenal – Arsene Wenger

Should have a job for life for the remarkable job he has done over the last few seasons, yet the the short sighted and short memoried imbeciles have been calling for his head. Yesterday’s result did them a power of good – now only 7 points off Chelsea, whereas defeat would have put them 12 points back. Look unlikely Champions, and very much living up to the tag – ‘A team for the future but never today’.
Overall 7.5/10 - Defeats to Hull, Stoke, and Fulham are immensely disappointing, but beating Utd and Chelsea only reinforce the romanticism Arsene has instilled. Would be lower but for yesterday’s result.

5. Aston Villa – Martin O’Neill

The Irishman has done a fantastic job at Villa over the past couple of seasons, transforming them from mid-table also-rans to genuine top four contenders. Have struggled a little in the past few games for goals in the absence of John Carew, but 5th is a great achievement nonetheless. Slight question marks over his purchases – with the exception of Ashley Young, there is little genuine class – Shorey, Knight, Harewood, Routledge and Luke Young hardly screams a push for the Champions League.
Overall: 9/10. Superb so far – can he push to the next level?

6. Hull – Phil Brown

Surpassed all expectations with a phenomenal start. Have stuttered a little recently, but sitting in 6th with 23 points at this stage of the season would have been beyond their wildest dreams. Looking safe from relegation, but Brown will want to hit the 40 point barrier; despite being top six they are only eight points off the drop zone!
Overall: 10/10. Surpassed all expectations.

7. Everton – David Moyes

Now considered an established top 6 club, with all the money flying around elsewhere Moyes will be worried about Everton’s continuing ability to compete in the upper echelons of the table. Fellaini was his only major acquisition and now desperately in need of firepower with the loss of Yakubu and Saha.
Overall: 8/10. Disappointing start says it all, as they still sit 7th. A measure of the expections Moyes has created with his excellent work.

8. Portsmouth – Tony Adams

Seems to have Pompey back on track after an uncertain start to his reign. Rumours of a fire-sale in January won’t do anyone any good, nor will reports Harry Redknapp is set to raid his old club. Still early to judge – but some encouraging signs.
Overall: n/a. To early to judge Adams, his reign is only 5 games old. Drawing with AC Milan and a couple of other good results inspire confidence though.

9. Bolton – Gary Megson

Arguably the form side of the Premiership. Matt Taylor has found his Portsmouth form, Elmander is back scoring, and other acquisitions such as Gary Cahill and Fabrice Muamba look shrewd. Megson is yet to win over the Bolton faithful – but a comfortable top half finish will do wonders.
Overall: 7.5/10. Dodgy start, great improvement of late. Yet to convince the fans but there’s no better way to do that than winning games.

10. Fulham – Roy Hodgson

Hodgson has turned Fulham into a lean outfit, short on numbers but high on organisation and discipline. Andy Johnson is scoring, and the defence is not conceding. No longer a soft touch on the road, either, Fulham are an entirely different proposition under the erstwhile England manager elect. A fantastic transformation.
Overall 9/10; A miracle escape last season, and kicked on admirably this – but where does he take them from here?

Part 2 to come…

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Bad news for the two most entertaining sides in the Premiership….

Firstly, Owen Hargreaves has been ruled out for the rest of the season after undergoing knee surgery. Hargreaves has played only 37 games for United since his £18m move in July 2007 – not great business.

Secondly, Thomas Rosicky has undergone further surgery on his own knee, first operated upon in May. He has not played since January this year, and himself has only made 61 appearences for Arsenal since his move from Dortmund in May 2006.

Let’s hope these two gifted footballers make a full recovery in time – and offer a little more RoI.