For example, Liam RidgewelL would be one had he played under Sven. As would David CopperfielD. If he was a footballer. Who played under Sven. For England.

Get the idea? The first letter of the first name has to be the same as the last letter of the second name…

There are five. GO. You can email us for the answer if you get frustrated/imaptient… contact@footballsup.com

We like it because it is different. And because of the staggering range of ‘cult zeros’ they have. You can visit their site here – all t-shirts can be customised by colour, wording, etc. Do it.

To have the presence of mind to realise that’s the only way you can get Valencia in, and possessing the ability to actually do it, are a breathless combination. Not many other players could do what Berbatov does there.

Berbatov is a mercurial talent, undoubtedly hugely gifted but laconic and peripheral too much of the time. I heart him. Why you like him is summed up well in this post that I’ve stolen from Football365’s forum:

If Berbatov was my lone striker I’d probably yearn for someone more hardworking. But United have Rooney.

Berbatov for me is just a joy to watch. I could excuse his goal tally or point out how he gets loads of assists and how the team gets better results when he plays with Rooney, but ultimately I don’t really care, I grew up wanting to be Eric Cantona, while everyone else wanted us to sign Shearer my dream signing would have been Matt Le Tisser. I don’t care if Berbatov is a lazy poser, he does things like that lofted ball over the defender for Valencia yesterday that make me go ‘yay!’, and in a squad that’s full of people who’ll run all day (Rooney, Evra, Park, Fletcher) I think there’s room for a player who’s all about finesse.

Please insert allegedly/whatever other disclaimer before each one… Take it or leave it, you heard it here first.

1. The Sun have lined up another EIGHT women who have slept with him in the last 18 months or so.

2. The front page today that Bridges ex, Vanessa, has slept with five members of the Chelsea squad is only the beginning. Two other Chelsea players – Gudjonsen and Drogba – were also sleeping with Bridge’s girlfriend at the same time as Terry.

3. The Sun is also paying Vanessa 250k to dish everything including the fact that the mystery fifth Chelsea player is, depressingly predictably, Ashley Cole. Which should give Cheryl the excuse she needs to finally dump him (now shes no longer Racist Toilet Cleaner Puncher, but the new Nations
Sweetheart)

4. JT has also been sleeping with current team mate Hilario’s wife (who also has kids).

5. Away from the bedroom, JT also owes Wembley a substantial amount of money for a box he owns and hasn’t paid for, even after he had mates in there racking up a 20k bill at the FA Cup final.and more worrying for jt, he recently needed to borrow 1million pound from his club’s owner to pay huge gambling debts…

What have we become. A cheap gossip mongerer. A sad day.

Before I begin, I must admit this is more relevant to the ‘top’ sides, those that feature regularly on TV – and therefore more relevant to fans of those teams. Lower league fans largely enjoy the same impunity I do, and that’s why it’s better to support a shit team. You can enjoy watching the good ones. And before I make my case, I must confess a bias to my cause. Shrugging off my childhood glory supporting of Man United I am now a semi-serious supporter of the mighty Swindon Town – but on the whole, I am largely a neutral.

This allows me to watch Big Four clashes, local derbies, grudge matches, heated rivalries and so on without my emotions being influenced, without the potential for my day being ruined, without a visceral hatred toward eleven men on a pitch or other people in the bar. I can enjoy it for what it is, a sport. My ‘loyalties’ don’t turn me into a moody, abusive, blind acolyte.

Because I don’t support a football team, I can watch football and enjoy it. I am a football fan, not a fan of a footballing entity. Not a ‘team fan’.

I actually feel sorry for die-hard fans. They cannot watch and enjoy a game without it somehow influencing them – league position, transfer targets, cup qualification, impact on rival teams, etc. Super Sunday becomes an emotional rollercoaster rather than an enjoyable pastime.

Furthermore, following a team (literally) is pretty shit. Cost, travel, having to spend your time amongst football crowds (which in all honesty are pretty disgusting, both actually and as a reflection of humanity), the lows (as few teams actually enjoy many highs) the mis-management, the bad signings, the underperformances – a lot of it is suffering, bearable only for the occasional 1-0 away win at Bolton.

Of course, I exaggerate. It’s not all bad. But being a fan of a team is certainly worse than being a fan of the game.

In fact I would go so far as to say, if you support a team, you don’t really like football that much (bear with me). You don’t watch football to appreciate great games, great players, and great goals (how anyone who says they like football doesn’t enjoy watching Arsenal is beyond me), you watch football for the small minded neanderthal tribality of it, the sense of belonging, of being part of something. I know (many) people who won’t watch Man Utd because they can’t bear it, won’t watch Arsenal in case they win, etc. That’s not liking football. That’s liking a team – and therefore not liking another one (or more).

For many, football is just an outlet. An outlet for aggression and loyalty, an outlet to moan and suffer, a chance to feel part of something, something to give your life some meaning. These people don’t like watching the sport – they just like being in a gang. An excuse to hate.

You may find this polemic – I am not disbaraging every team’s every fan – merely saying that if you watch football to follow a team, you like the team and all it provides – not the sport.

But that’s just one point of view. Perhaps you enjoy football more because you support a team – it gives an extra angle/edge to the viewing pleasure. I’d love to hear from you. I’m open minded. Unlike your average ‘team fan’.

In two home games against their two main rivals, Arsenal have been totally overrun, registering comprehensive defeats to Chelsea (0-3) and Manchester United (1-3). In both games, the Gunners have been outmuscled and outthought in every department.

It is worth breaking this down into each individual third of the pitch:

Central defence – the best defensive pairings have at least one commanding, non-nonsense defender in the mould of Terry or Vidic. A classier, quicker partner compliments this well.

Neither Gallas nor Vermealen quite cut the figure of a commanding leader of a centre back. This results in a perceived weakness & disorganisation which spreads throughout the whole team. Didier Drogba has taken great joy in tormenting Arsenal for the last four years and the superlative Wayne Rooney was equally devastating on Sunday.

Central midfield – Cesc Fabregas must be one of the finest talents in Europe. Unfortunately his impact is being blunted in the big games by central midfield partners lacking in presence and influence. Let’s face it – Denilson is never going to be the next Keane or Vieira. Chelsea and Man Utd both possess phenomenal strength and quality in midfield, and Wenger’s team have lost those vital midfield battles spectacularly.

Up front – Arsenal miss Robin van Persie massively, as Wenger’s other strike options are lightweight, aside from Bendtner, who does not seem to be good enough at this level. With the likes of Rooney, Drogba & Anelka, the top two have a decisive edge to their play, particularly on the counter attack, where as Arsenal find themselves too reliant on executing a wonder-pass. It has been noticeable, too, to observe how ineffective Arsenal are from wide positions. With no striking presence, they score few goals from wide in open play or set pieces.

If Arsenal’s outfield issues were not enough, the position of goalkeeper must be questioned. If you were to put the 20 first-choice keepers in order, would Manuel Almunia make your Top 10? Nani has rightly been praised for creating United’s first goal. However, his fantastic skill has diverted attention from the absolute horlicks that Almunia made of the cross. Goalkeeping errors undermine all the outfield efforts, and affect the team’s overall confidence.

Although he might not admit it, Wenger must be aware of these issues. However no signings of note have arrived at the Emirates in the January transfer window. You must fear for their season with tricky games against Chelsea and Liverpool on the horizon.

Bad boy captains don’t sit well with sporting authorities. Just ask Shane Warne. Aside from being arguably the most skilful bowler in the history of cricket, Warne was blessed with a quite brilliant cricketing brain. Perfect captaincy material…until he stepped off the park. A string of off-the-field indiscretions made Cricket Australia reticent to have Warne in a position of authority.

The England football captaincy is viewed with similar magnitude to leading the baggy greens. It requires a character who is whiter than the white kits with three lions on the chest. When Fabio Capello took over, JT seemed a wholly reasonable choice to lead his side into a World Cup campaign. Inspirational leader, world class centre back, committed husband and even named Father of the Year. How that has changed now.

Terry was already on the ropes after the News of the World broke a story about his unofficial £10,000 stadium tour. Now his alleged affair – with, of all people, the fiancée of an England teammate – surely makes his captaincy position untenable. For the FA to continue with Terry would be tant amount to an endorsement of his alleged antics.

You can argue whether personal affairs (literally!) should affect team matters, but in this case they certainly do.

Assuming he goes, who will fill the embarrassing void?

Rio’s injury problems call his claims into question. Lampard leads by example on the pitch and is seen as a model professional. However, in light of his acrimonious split from Elen Rives, his appointment would surely be butchered by the press. That leaves Steven Gerrard to finally prove that he can inspire his England teammates the way he has for Liverpool for the past decade.

As Jamie Redknapp just said, kids will go out and try that tomorrow. One of those rare moments that are talked about in the playground. Admittedly I’ve seen him try that trick a number of times before, but the position and timing – and execution – of this iteration was just perfect, taking two defenders out of the game. And allowing him to attack and beat a third at pace. The finish was fortuitous but the build up was breathtaking.

I’m not quite sure when Nani became good – or even if he is – but that was certainly impressive. He set up Rooney’s goal too (United’s second). Could he finally be stepping up to the plate…? Or is this just a slightly extended flash in the pan. Time will tell.

Incidentally that video came from 101greatgoals, who we harp on about endlessly – but there really is no better nor more comprehensive source of highlights.

The awareness, skill, and chutzpah to pull that off are just breathtaking. And don’t underestimate Benzema’s appreciation of the situation, without which the whole thing would have been rather embarrassing…

Back in November we looked at England’s potential squad – the definites, possibles, maybes, and no-ways – and it looked pretty rosy, pretty balanced. Fast forward three months and it has a whole different, far more worrying appearance…

You can read the initial article by clicking here – but here is the squad we thought (at that time) would go:

David James, Rob Green, Paul Robinson

Ashley Cole, John Terry, Rio Ferdinand, Joleon Lescott, Matthew Upson, Glen Johnson, Wes Brown

Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard, Gareth Barry, Owen Hargreaves, Michael Carrick, Joe Cole, David Beckham, Aaron Lennon, Theo Walcott

Wayne Rooney, Emile Heskey, Jermaine Defoe, Peter Crouch

Let’s look at these in detail…

David James - Has barely played this season. Desperate to go on loan to ensure he doesn’t miss out. Needs to play pretty much all the rest of the season to make sure he is first choice. Although that air of calamity still clouds him. We must hope he does regain fitness and find form as the alternatives are borderline terrifying.

Rob Green – Had a big chance to step up while James was injured and failed to take it with either hand, making a couple of high profile errors. The fact many West Ham fans don’t like him speaks volumes.

Paul Robinson – Experiencing something of a renaissance at Blackburn but doubts persist over his ability to deal with both long-range shots and crosses.

Ashley Cole - No worries over form or fitness, he is playing some of the best football of his career and is physically resilient. Fingers crossed he does not get injured, as the alternative is Wayne Bridge.

John Terry – Captain spastic is playing well but is increasingly creaky in his old age. His back problems are particularly worrying.

Rio Ferdinand – Has been out injured for ages, although made his return for United recently. Undoubtedly world class on his day – but how many of them does he have left? Hopefully enough to get through South Africa.

Joleon Lescott – Somewhat disastrous at Man City. His place on the plane, let alone in the team, is in severe doubt.

Matthew Upson – Perhaps the only legitimate candidate should Terry or Ferdinand drop out – which is alarming.

Glen Johnson – Huge doubts linger over his defensive capabilities, and opposing teams often cite him as a weak point for both Liverpool and England. His potency going forward is not in doubt – but can we afford it?

Wes Brown - Was abysmal in United’s defeat to Leeds, given the runaround by League One striker Jermaine Beckford. Not a great sign.

Steven Gerrard – Has confessed himself that he’s in poor form – and has had crisis talks with Rafa. Not what we want from one of our supposedly world class players. Although for me his positional indiscipline prevents him from hitting that bracket, part of the reason he has never really shone for England.

Frank Lampard – Mr Dependable has looked a little out of sorts at times this season but seems to now have come into form. Always good for a few goals and a great engine. One of the least worrying.

Gareth Barry – Some seem to think he has been good for Man City, some think he has been disappointing. I’m not really sure. But if he is fit, he will play, and with the death of Owen Hargreaves and poor form of Michael Carrick he is a crucial member of the midfield.

Owen Hargreaves - R.I.P. Barring a miracle bordering on reincarnation he has missed the boat.

Michael Carrick – Seems to have fallen out with Fergie. Not being given much game time, much of which he has had has been at centre back, and he has not been playing well. Touch and go whether he will make it – perhaps will as the only credible understudy to Barry.

Joe Cole - Needs a storming second half of the season. Was England’s best player for a while before his injury and offers that special something that few others can provide. We need him to show he needs to be taken.

David Beckham – Keeps on chugging away. Always good for a 15 minute cameo and excellent dead ball delivery, and a great presence amongst the squad. If fit he will go.

Aaron Lennon – In good form, dangerous, and appears to have added an end product to his pace and penetration. Looks all the better relative to his rivals SWP and Walcott.

Theo Walcott – A giant fall from grace since his hat-trick in Croatia. May not even make the plane unless he starts playing – and well – for Arsenal.

Wayne Rooney – By a mile England’s most important player. Without him we would be fucked. Let’s hope and pray he doesn’t get injured between now and our inevitable quarter final exit.

Emile Heskey – Still sparks debate, still allows others to play around him, we still do better when he plays. First choice alongside Rooney upfront.

Jermaine Defoe – Banging them in, a great option from the bench.

Peter Crouch – Offers something different, and a viable alternative to Heskey alongside Rooney.

So there we have it. Concerns range from huge (Goalkeeper, Right Back, Rooney getting injured) to medium (everything else).We later amended it to include James Milner – who must now be pushing for a starting berth – but things certainly don’t look as good as they did a few weeks ago. Don Fabio must be sweating even more than usual.