Is it this?

Certainly up there. Assault on the ref has to be admired, Di Canio, take a bow. But is that better than assault on a paramedic? Andre Bikey everyone:

I’d argue both pale into comparison with assault on a fan. Look how collected Cantona seems before he launches himself into Matthew Simmonds. Genius.

Assaults on fellow players can still be entertaining – but probably suffer from over-exposure. At least the ones above are rarities. This is my favourite – if at first you don’t succeed, try again. And then again. Until you NAIL him. Nice one Benjamin Massing.

This is another good one from Totti – absolutely nails Ballotelli:

And though not strictly a Red (albeit about 20 people deserved one) this fight is awesome, from Valencia v Inter a couple of years back:

What made this one even better was Jamie Redknapp’s commentary afterwards: “No one likes to see that Richard but look, fist comes round and BOOOOOMMMMM! Perfect punch” Ha.

But this is still my all-time favourite. There’s just one thought in his mind, no doubt, no indecision. He sprints half the length of the pitch to do it, knowing that one thing and one thing only can save Utd’s title chances. Smashing through Rob Lee.

I love his simple ‘I had to do it’ to Becks on the way off, and the sympathetic pat he receives in return. Perhaps the best thing about it is that he probably could have tackled him legitimately after all the ground he made up. But none of that legal tackle bollocks for Ole. SMASH.

Got any good ones? Send them to contact@footballsup.com or post them below…

In January 2010 Mikel Arteta completed five years UK residency, and having been ignored throughout his playing career by the country of his birth (Spain, for the ignoramuses out there) is now eligible to play for England. Just turning 28 Arteta could still enjoy a fruitful England career – and though this (2010) World Cup is too soon, he would only be 32 at the next. He’s not a player who relies on pace, and representing Eng-er-land could be his only chance to appear on the biggest stage.

It’s surprising that he has not been called up by Spain before – but not inexplicable. Players of his ilk – playmakers, silky passers – are relatively abundant in the country. Think Iniesta and Xavi, both similar ages to Arteta, then Fabregas who although younger is also blocking his path. Then you have Xabi Alonso, Diego Capel, Santi Cazorla… so Arteta is well down the queue.

England have no such riches. Players like Arteta are like gold-dust – Carrick is probably the current closest and he is quite different. Beckham isn’t miles off, but the most recent player who can genuinely be compared in styles (a playalike, if you will) is Jamie Redknapp. And what a player he could have been were it not for injury. That starkly illustrates the paucity.

When we have the likes of Shaun Wright-Phillips and Joleon Lescott in the England squad (and SWP indeed in the midfield), a player of the calibre and class of Arteta would walk in. And he would offer the side something different, something creative, something intelligent, something… Spanish.

The bandwagon starts here – Fabio Capello, sign him up.

Arteta has previously said he wouldn’t rule out playing for England (see here) – let’s jump on that. Why more isn’t being made of this I don’t know, but he is game, he is eligible, he is good enough, he would be a fantastic addition to the England squad. A genuine playmaker who can play out wide, in the centre, or off the striker is like manna from heaven. Don’t ignore it Don Fabio.

It had is moments; the opening game, Germany destroying England then Argentina, The 3/4th place play-off, Italy v Slovakia… but by and large the World Cup was disappointing. What is to blame?

• The Ball

Now officially called ‘the much maligned Jabulani’, there was so much plaintive wailing about the offical World Cup ball that there must be some truth in there. No smoke without fire and all that (that’s what all the best legal cases are built on…). I’ve played with one, and it is phenomenally light – difficult to control, and difficult to hit with any combination of pace and accuracy. Only Diego Forlan seemed able to master long range strikes with it, and Tevez’ goal was perhaps the only time it was hit 100% straight and true. That is never a good sign. In the desperate quest to make the games more exciting, contain more goals and attract more viewers Adidas/FIFA seem to have shot themselves in the foot. It was used with some success in the Bundesliga and the J-League prior to the tournament which suggests it’s ok once you get used to it – unfortunately the course of the tournament was not long enough for most sides.

• Vuvuzelas

Absolutely fucking shit. Ruined watching it on TV, ruined it even more inside the stadium (probably). By drowning out the crowd they made the games devoid of atmosphere despite the deafening hoots. Genuinely one of the worst inventions ever.

• Holding Midfielders

The 4-2-3-1 seems to have infected the game, with De Jong and Van Bommel the starkest proponents. Two players in the middle whose sole purpose is to break up play is never going to make for attractive games or a glut of goals. And when they do it by fouling left, right and centre it disrupts the flow to such an extent the game becomes nigh on unwatchable (re: the final…).

• Spain

I appreciate the technique behind what they do, but Spain are actually quite a boring side to watch. They pass sides to death, moving and switching the play but without ever creating more than a handful of clear cut opportunities. They wear their opponents out, wear them down, then when that elusive chance does come they rely on David Villa to stick it away. Spain only scored 7 goals in 6 matches, and only three players scored for them.

• The Punditry

It was just awful. I’ve already reprinted one excellent article from Tom English on just how bad – but ‘Lawro’ plunged it to new depths during the final. Abhorrent.

• Avarice

The prize money on offer was ludicrous – Spain were on £500k per man to win the tournament, and England received nearly £6m for their abject showing. With such enormous sums involved, no wonder tactics were defensive, teams were scared to lose, and as a result football suffered. Germany and Uruguay showed how could it could have been in their playoff game played without fear.

• English Fans

The tubthumping bandwagon that rolls into the country with every major tournament was particularly busy this time. St George’s flags everywhere, bare-shirted, tattooed thugs singing about the IRA, the relentless media exposure, the ridiculous over hyping of a decidedly average England side, the faux-patriotism – I was just glad when England went out. Roll on us not qualifying for Euro 2012.

It just wasn’t an enjoyable tournament. Don’t let the good moments in the later rounds cloud the torpor that was the first round of group matches – we waited four years for this, and it was a massive let-down. But only four years until the next one – and no doubt I will be as excited for that as I was for this.

Love the World Cup.

Enough has been written of England’s disappointing – nay abject – nay disgraceful – showing at the World Cup. I didn’t expect much, but a hell of a lot more than one average performance against Slovenia and three other dreadful ones. As always we collapsed as soon as we faced a genuinely good side (speaking of which, how good is Ozil? Amazing) but this time not on penalties, and without a whimper. Yes Lampard’s goal of course should have stood, but 4-2 would have flattered us.

Why?

We have a good side – not a great one, but a good one – a proven manager, and an excellent qualifying campaign under our belts. But the tournament itself was a disaster. Strange selections (Carragher, King, SWP?) strange tactics (No Carrick in the first game), rigidity in formation (at least try Gerrard/Rooney), strange substitutions (Heskey for Defoe when we desperately needed goals) a disharmonious camp (John Terry) the persistence with injured and unfit players (King, Barry, Rooney) and the bizarre cheerleading figure of David Beckham. And for all that the blame must lie with Capello. Magnificent as his club record is, the buck stops with him.

The FA seem to think the same, and have announced there will be an announcement on his future in 2 weeks. This seems sensible, no knee-jerk reactions. And it seems this will coincide with a wholesale change in the English football structure.

Rumours abound this will include a Svengali figure monitoring the pyramid and development of players from the  bottom up. What we also need is a huge push on and for qualified coaches – we only have around 20,000 at the top FIFA level compared to 80,000 for France – and Germany, Holland and Spain all have more. Indeed the latter (if my memory serves) have around 180,000. No wonder England and our top clubs are importing coaches and managers from abroad.

Is Capello the man to lead us into this new dawn? Club and country management is radically different, and you are only as good as your last game. Which in Capello’s case, is fucking shit.

I’m no chest beating Englishman, but for a radical overhaul I would prefer a proven international manager who knows international and club football, and speaks bloody English. I don’t care if he (or she) is from our shores, but it baffles me when the English side is managed by someone who cannot communicate with the players. Thank God we didn’t get Scolari, his English is even worse than Don Fabio’s.

Plus it irritated me when he defended our performances – I thought it was a decidedly English characteristic to blindly laud ourselves – it appears he is guilty of equally rose tinted retrospect. We were rubbish.

I’m intrigued what the FA will do – I suspect offer Capello the chance to oversee the restructure. It will save them £12m after all. And I suspect he will accept. But I don’t think that’s the right way to go. How must they regret removing THAT clause just before the World Cup.

Also – if not Fabio, then who? He at least now has experience of managing a squad at a major international tournament, and that will hopefully stand him and us in good stead at Euro 2012. There are at least no worries about our ability to qualify.

What we want is a world class English coach. And that simply doesn’t exist. Fabio will in all likelihood continue – but it reeks of compromise.

This is also a watershed for the so called ‘Golden Generation’ that began with Michael Owen and David Beckham precociously lighting up World Cup ’98 and ended in ignominy for Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard as they crashed out to Germany. Owen and Beckham have probably already seen the last of international football – but what worth is there in persisting with Gerrard, Lampard, Ferdinand, Terry, Heskey, Barry, even Ashley Cole? They will all be too old for the next World Cup – Lampard is already 32. And the summary of their achievements are two quarter final defeats to Portugal. Oh for the salad days of Sven…

As well as a soup to nuts restructure the FA should also take this an opportunity to build a new England side, one that will get us to Euro 2012 and then be primed for WC 2014. Some of the current crop will be integral to that – Rooney, G Johnson, Joe Hart, perhaps Ashley Cole, Walcott and Lennon; then the likes of Adam Johnson, Tom Huddlestone, Jack Wilshere, Jonjo Shelvey, Connor Wickham, Fabian Delph and other young starlets should be accelerated. It may not pay dividends immediately but building a strong, stable squad that will stay together over the next four years and grow into a team must be the way forward.

Germany should be our paradigm. And hopefully we can find an Ozil.

IT’S FAIR to say that it’s not just ITV that has taken some stick for some of their coverage at this World Cup, particularly the coverage of the tournament’s lesser lights. The BBC have been getting it in the neck as well. To give you an example, what I’m talking about here is things like Alan Shearer’s self-proclaimed “expert analysis” that amounts to a conveyor belt of cliches and the kind of insight that even a child of six would describe as laughable.

Before the Algeria versus Slovenia game in Group C on Sunday, Shearer seemed to be speaking for the entire BBC panel when he said, “Our knowledge of these two teams is limited.” Limited! What the former England striker was saying was that he hadn’t done his homework, that he hadn’t spoken to any of his vast array of contacts in the game, hadn’t tapped into the BBC’s huge research machinery, hadn’t even bothered, seemingly, to peruse the internet for some background on Algeria and Slovenia or even flick through a newspaper or a magazine. Shearer was content to sit in front of the cameras and tell the viewers that, really, he didn’t know much. Hardly a revelation to those of us who have groaned our way through his anodyne commentaries in the past, but embarrassing all the same.

Why do the BBC deem that acceptable? Why is Shearer not taken aside and told, ‘Listen, if you can’t be bothered doing some research on this game then get lost’. It’s a different, and entirely more professional story, on radio where the wonderful 5 Live and, closer to home, the award-winning Radio Scotland present their football coverage in a proper fashion. How does Shearer (but not just Shearer) get away with opting out like that?

And here’s another one. The Beeb got carpeted by some viewers for their treatment of that Algeria game. So what happened before the kick-off in yesterday’s lunch-time match between New Zealand and Slovakia? In a six-and-a-half minute introduction just one player out of the 22 on show was given a name-check, and here is how it happened.

Lee Dixon: “Slovakia have got some decent players, Hamsik, the pick of them. Young player, plays on the left side.”

Gary Lineker: “He’s at Napoli.”

Lee Dixon: “That’s right.”

Alan Hansen (chuckling): “Somebody gave you him, by the way.”

What Hansen meant, I think, was that his colleagues must have been fed the Hamsik reference by another party, that they couldn’t have come up with his name all by themselves. It’s not like Dixon or Lineker produced a dossier of facts about Hamsik, a file of information on who he is and where he has been. All they did was mention his name and the fact that he was rather good. That was it. Hansen seemed to think this was worthy of a gently-mocking put-down, as if the other two were some kind of class swots. As such, he was almost revelling in his own ignorance.

There’s a lot of this going about, on BBC and ITV. The level of punditry is cringe-making. It’s lowest common denominator stuff. Patronising and insulting, much of it. Emmanuel Adebayor’s mobile phone started ringing in his pocket live on air the other day. His respect for the viewers didn’t even amount to him making sure the thing was switched off. Edgar Davids has been unintelligible, Gareth Southgate hasn’t said one interesting thing, Kevin Keegan has been nothing more than a cheerleader for England and Andy Townsend has been his usual bland self, trotting out statements of the obvious with a rapid-fire gusto. “I tell you what, for me, he’s gotta hit the target from there!”

And you are paid how much, Andy?

Clarence Seedorf was in the BBC studio the other night for the Italy versus Paraguay match and he was making a point about the positive impact an Italian substitute had made on the game. He was referring to Antonio Di Natale, winner of more than 30 caps for the Azzurri and the leading goalscorer in Serie A in the season just gone, but Seedorf couldn’t remember his name. Hadn’t a clue. Neither did the blokes alongside him, Hansen among them. “He was the No 10,” said a smiling Seedorf, who then reached for a team-sheet on the desk for help before realising that it was the Dutch team-sheet. “That’s no use,” he laughed. Indeed, Clarence.

Hansen thought this was priceless. “That might be highlight of the World Cup so far,” he trumpeted. The programme ended and still nobody had figured out that the No 10 was Di Natale. You would hope that behind the scenes the BBC producers were holding their heads in their hands with embarrassment, but you wouldn’t bank on it. Of course, in the squirm factor stakes there are many challengers. Mick McCarthy claimed just before kick-off in the Argentina versus Nigeria game that he’d only just realised that the Juan Sebastian Veron that appeared on his team-sheet was the same Veron who’d played for Manchester United and Chelsea. Quite a statement of ignorance, that.

In fairness to McCarthy, he does have something to offer in his reading of the game. It’s just that there is so much that makes you wince in between. What we’re getting a lot of from both sides is glib nonsense, crap jokes and crass stereotyping. Adrian Chiles is flavour of the month on ITV, but his popularity is not what it was. It wasn’t his fault that ITV HD pressed the wrong button at the wrong time during England’s opening game and missed Steven Gerrard’s goal, but Chiles has been distinctly unconvincing in the anchor role. He wants to be the funny man when the job demands gravitas. He wants to throw in one-liners when he should be attempting to spearhead a proper discussion about a match.

His introduction to England’s game against the Americans was mortifying. Wielding a baseball bat and sending a message to America, he said, “Just stick to your sports, why don’t you?” Chiles was also seen patting a burger, adding: “We really love Americans, just wouldn’t eat a whole one.” He made himself look like a clown.

Keegan’s summing-up: “It was a very, very good performance, good enough to win any game.” This classic piece of Keegan claptrap should have been jumped upon and ripped apart for the nonsensical garbage that it was, but it sailed through pretty much. Chiles doesn’t do confrontation – neither does the BBC – and it’s a terrible weakness. There is no edge, no passion. It’s all so bloody harmless and dull.

ITV needed somebody with a backbone to turn around to Keegan and say to him, ‘Okay Kevin, what you’re saying there is a load of junk. Explain how getting a draw against a team of journeymen like America is very good, explain the selection of James Milner out of position, explain why the rank ordinary Shaun Wright-Phillips was brought on instead of the classy Joe Cole, explain the failure of Gerrard and Frank Lampard to function together yet again, explain why this negated Wayne Rooney’s impact’. Kev didn’t do any of that, though.

There are many days ahead when our intelligence will be insulted by “expert analysts” who speak to us like simpletons who’ve just staggered home from the pub. We could do a lot worse than hitting the mute button from here on in. Or getting the commentary off the radio.

Here is a link to the original article: http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/sport/Tom-English-39The-level-of.6364084.jp

As if there weren’t enough reasons to hate the Daily Mail already. Following the Mail on Sunday exposé about the admittedly stupid Lord Triesman, they have now alienated the only group that still liked them – racist football fans.

The English press have long sought to build up and then knock down our sporting endeavours in the interests of flogging newspapers. And while one might have little sympathy for John Terry or Ashley Cole’s infidelities being exposed, seeking to jeopardise the country’s World Cup bid is scandalous.

As ever, the timing of the story seems to have been engineered to maximise damage to those involved – in this instance, that being all English football supporters. This has been highlighted by Gary Lineker’s decision to resign from his Mail on Sunday column.

Lineker has not always been my favourite person, in no small part down to his massive smugness. But taking this stand seems a noble gesture, and given that he took over the column from the late, great Sir Bobby Robson, a symbolic one too.

I do not condone Lord Triesman’s behaviour. It was naïve and misguided, but delivered in a private conversation, and needn’t have been damaging to our World Cup bid.

Maybe I am naïve myself, but the apparent short termism of the English press is staggering. One would imagine that England hosting the 2018 World Cup would be hugely lucrative for all media groups in this country.

Yet they would rather threaten that opportunity by paying off some ten-a-penny harlot to spill the beans on yet another randy FA executive. Depressing and pathetic.

With Barcelona’s triumph Zlatan Ibrahimovic won his seventh consecutive league winner’s medal. That is, he has won the league with whichever club he has played for, for the last seven seasons in a row. Just incredible. The record:

Ajax
Eredivisie:
2003–04

Juventus
Serie A:
2004–05, 2005–06 (pre- Calciopoli )

Internazionale
Serie A:
2006–07, 2007–08, 2008–09

Barcelona
La Liga
2009-2010

Now he has his detractors, and undoubtedly has fallibilities, but you just can’t argue with the consistent level of success. Leading the line for each of those clubs he has won every one of them the league across three different countries. I can’t be sure, but I think he is unique in this – it’s never been done before.

He also scored potentially my favourite ever goal:

And also the other day he responded to a question about his sexuality from a journalist (after this picture):

By answering: ‘Come round to my house and I’ll show you if I’m gay. And bring your sister’.

You may hate him, you may not rate him, but you have to respect that winning record, that goal, and that comeback…

So in all likelihood the full 23 man squad will include 3 goalies, 2 RB, 2 LB, 4 CB, 4 CM, 2 LW, 2 RW, 4 FWD. the provisional 30 man allows 7 maybes/possibles/tag alongs…

Keepers

Rob Green – Probably first choice

David James – Probably should be first choice

Joe Hart – Will be future first choice

Paul Robinson – Used to be first choice

Defenders

Ashley Cole – Best LB in the world, fit in plenty of time as we predicted

Leighton Baines – Best back up LB we have

Glen Johnson – The only good RB we have

Wes Brown – Versatile but injured, could miss out or be usurped by Gary Neville

Gary Neville – Could, errr, usurp Wes Brown

Jamie Carragher – Apparently being recalled. Bizarre as he is now shit.

Rio Ferdinand – Becoming increasingly injury prone but will go if fit

John Terry – Captain spastic

Matthew Upson – Terrible season but long term 3rd choice

Ledley King – If Capello decides he can play enough games he will go. Arguably our best CB

Midfielders

Steven Gerrard – Terrible season but a shoe in.

James Milner – Great season, may push for starting 11

Joe Cole – Has he done enough? A differential, and a few good games may have got him in

Frank Lampard – Amazing player, amazing season, second name on the teamsheet after Rooney

Gareth Barry – Injured but a unique player so will go

Theo Walcott – Pace makes him invaluable and Don Fabio has already said he will go

Aaron Lennon – Probably just ahead of Walcott on the right

Tom Huddlestone – Preferred to Carrick as the midfield ball retainer

Adam Johnson – Walcott 2006 style wildcard

Owen Hargreaves – May take the opportunity to look at his fitness

Forwards

Wayne Rooney – First name on the teamsheet

Jermaine Defoe – Dodgy end to the season but consistently first choice poacher

Emile Heskey – Rooney’s ideal foil. Old boring argument, we are better with him.

Peter Crouch – Unsure if he will go, alternative big man, chance to have a look at him

Darren Bent – Behind Defoe but may just sneak in

Carlton Cole – Other big man alternative, could push Crouch out

This will probably be hugely wrong. I will update with how wrong it actually is…

Man City, Spurs, Stoke and Fulham all have double gameweeks, so if you are making transfers it simply has to be from one of those sides…

Fulham

After their Europa League heroics, and with precedent, it is likely Woy will rest and rotate. Budget defenders like Chris Baird or FF favourite Brede Hangeland would certainly be on the radar otherwise, as would the likes of Damien Duff, Clint Dempsey, and Bobby Zamora. But they aren’t precisely for that reason.

Stoke

Defenders are always Stoke’s most attractive assets – Ryan Shawcross is finally fit and must be top choice, with Robert Huth close behind. Pickings amongst their attackers are slim, with Etherington the stand out, then scraping the barrel, Ricardo Fuller and maybe Tuncay. Thomas Sorensen would have been good, RIP.

Man City

Conversely, attackers are City’s most alluring transfers. Carlos Tevez will of course be the ideal, with Adebayor and Bellamy behind, mainly due to rotation. Unless Mancini chooses to ‘rest’ Tevez after his latest outburst…

Spurs

A bit more choice around ‘Arry’s boys. Gareth Bale has been an absolute FPL hero, and Dawson also appeals for less money. Modric is another who will feature highly on wishlists. And Jermaine Defoe. Then depending on the starting XI, you could look at King, Assou-Efan Ekoku, Kranjcar, Huddlestone, Crouch, Pav…

Decision

This is our list, in order, of who we think you should get in this Gameweek, cost/form etc all considered. Don’t blame us if it costs you your minileague though…

1. Bale
2. Tevez
3. Modric
4. Shawcross
5. Etherington
6. Dawson
7. Adebayor
8. Huth
9. Defoe
10. Given

Jose Mourinho’s Inter Milan defended heroically tonight, qualifying for the Champions League final against Bayern Munich with a 1-0 loss to Barcelona. Jose’s infamous parking of the bus was reversed as they packed men behind the ball and frustrated and stymied Guardiola’s men again and again. A few key stats from the game:

• Xavi (153) made 37 more passes on his own than the whole Inter Milan team (116).
• Passes completed: Barca 555, Inter 67
• Barcelona had 86.4% possession, a Champions League record this season.
• Barcelona (1372 passes) completed 999 more passes than Inter Milan (373) over the two legs.

Just incredible levels of domination. But Inter rebuffed them and aside from Pique’s superb finish, kept them out. A triumph for Mourinho’s tactical brilliance? Or dour negativity that ruined the spectacle?

For my money, any game that can throw up such statistical anomalies is a fascinating one. I can’t pretend that I enjoyed every minute of the match (especially not the first half) but overall, as a package, it was engrossing. Not for the casual viewer admittedly, but captivating for the hardcore.

And Jose being Jose he had to provide us with a subplot – the last minute team change, the half time delay, the full time histrionics… whatever you think of the guy, you cannot deny he is entertaining. More so than the game…