To be a footballer would be to live the dream – but you do have to make sacrifices. Here are some who have really taken the freedom of retirement to heart – heart disease, that is…

This was prompted by a picture of Neil Shipperly I stumbled across – remember him? Battling striker who played for Chelsea, amongst others? Look at the transformation… (left is now, in case you didn’t realise)

Unfortunately Shipperley has also balded significantly, emphasising the ravages of age (believe me, I know how he feels). He’s not the only one fighting the fat though – not by a long way. It happens to current players as well – remember this slimline, promising 18 year old at Man City?

Yep, that’s the vaguely angelic looking Michael Johnson. Just look at him now…

Again baldness has accentuated his physical decline – but he appears to have aged twenty years in just two. And the greats are not immune either:

Ronaldinho there, showing that losing your hair and your slimline figure can be mutually exclusive. Whereas he’s retained his flowing locks, he’s certainly lost his definition.

A few other footballs who’ve packed on the pounds since quitting (in fairness, who can blame them – a life of restraint and abstinence must have an equal and opposite)…

I don’t think anyone is unaware of Maradona’s physical decline, but there it is in the starkest possible form. Not sure how much restraint and abstinence he employed though.

Mick Quinn was always a bit of a fatty, but now he’s absolutely enormous.

Big Nev is now REALLY Big Nev. And I can only presume that caption refers to his dinner.

Anyone who watched the FA Cup draw will have seen the adipose behemoth Neil Ruddock has become.

Recognise him, second from right?

Yep (assuming you said ‘Jamie Pollock’) – that’s Jamie Pollock. Remember him?

And lastly, our favourite Scandinavin fatty, Thomas Brolin – before…

And now:

We all know the footballers people rightly or wrongly abuse for being fat – Charlie Adam, Andy Reid (perhaps the heaviest centre midfield partnership the Premier League has seen?), Wayne Rooney, and of course ‘Fat’ Frank Lampard – but they have nothing on the above. Where Jan Molby led, others have followed. And I for one, salute them.

Any other obeasts spring to mind? Comment below or drop us a line on contact@footballsup.com.

Smoking is cool. Here are some footballers rocking nicotine chic. With a couple of notable exceptions…

Being a bad-ass, of course Man City’s new signing Mario Balotelli smokes. Indoors. With fit women.

Slaven Bilic rocking a Marlboro. Not strictly a player anymore, but still cool.

The first to buck the trend, Ashley Cole having a puff and looking like a saggy-assholed rentboy.

Back to form. Dimitar Berbatov is the epitome of cool. He smokes, cigarette hanging insouciantly from the corner of his mouth.

Retro. Jack Charlton having a toke at Leeds training.

Fabian Barthez loves to reduce his lung capacity and increase his risk of cancer. He looks like he has it anyway, so who gives a fuck. Not Fabian.

Man United’s Federico Macheda showing that teenagers should also smoke.

Wayne Rooney another to let the side down – he just looks like a pasty, ginger chav smoking a Lambert and Butler in a municipal swimming pool. Not cool.

Zidane, one of the finest players of any generation, showing that smoking actually makes you better at football.

Remember kids, smoking is cool. Get on it early, like Macheda, and one day you might end up like Zidane.

Others I’ve tried to find for the rogue’s gallery, having been informed they love a tab, are Johan Cruyff (lending weight to the theory smoking makes you better), Robert Prosinecki, Claus Jensen (another who looks like he has cancer already), Didi Hamann (twenty a day, allegedly), Gianluca Vialli (another cancer victim doppleganger – but considering he smokes forty a day he probably has it), Giuseppe Meazza, Steed Malbranque (I can imagine him having a shady one round the back of the bike sheds, little scrutter), Paul Robinson (fat keeper not fat defender), Roberto di Matteo (who has hilariously started smoking since taking over West Brom), Henrik Larsson, and of course Tugay.

Any images of them – or others – you could send through would be gratefully received – contact@footballsup.com

A snappy title I know – and I am vaguely ashamed to rip something off from the Mirror – but The Wire and football being my two favourite things at the moment, anything that brings them together has to be shared..

Click here to view the slideshow (halfway down) – you can maximise it using the button in the right hand corner.

I think Ashley Young and Marlow Stanfield is the best one (above). Also would have been better if it was all Premier League. But who am I to complain…

Please insert allegedly/whatever other disclaimer before each one… Take it or leave it, you heard it here first.

1. The Sun have lined up another EIGHT women who have slept with him in the last 18 months or so.

2. The front page today that Bridges ex, Vanessa, has slept with five members of the Chelsea squad is only the beginning. Two other Chelsea players – Gudjonsen and Drogba – were also sleeping with Bridge’s girlfriend at the same time as Terry.

3. The Sun is also paying Vanessa 250k to dish everything including the fact that the mystery fifth Chelsea player is, depressingly predictably, Ashley Cole. Which should give Cheryl the excuse she needs to finally dump him (now shes no longer Racist Toilet Cleaner Puncher, but the new Nations
Sweetheart)

4. JT has also been sleeping with current team mate Hilario’s wife (who also has kids).

5. Away from the bedroom, JT also owes Wembley a substantial amount of money for a box he owns and hasn’t paid for, even after he had mates in there racking up a 20k bill at the FA Cup final.and more worrying for jt, he recently needed to borrow 1million pound from his club’s owner to pay huge gambling debts…

What have we become. A cheap gossip mongerer. A sad day.

Now let’s discount your archetypal spotty fat loser computer geek here. I am talking about normal people who play football and also play computers – latterly Pro Evo, FIFA and harking back to Super Kick Off, Sensible Soccer, European Club Soccer, Actua Soccer, and so on.

I appreciate I have offered no reasons why they might help you on a cold Sunday morning on Hackney Marshes, and the obvious thought is that sitting in your bedroom bashing a pad won’t do one jot for your fitness.

But I am talking about understanding the game – an appreciation of picking a pass, making a run, and beating a keeper. The timing on an expertly executed slide rule pass. Holding the ball up while support arrives. And so on.

Simulating this – i.e. playing a computer game – can only help, surely? Picking when to drop off the defender’s shoulder and into space, when to make the dart to the near post – and when to pick someone else out when they do – is a fine art, which practice makes perfect. And doing it on a computer game, whilst not quite the same as an afternoon at Colney Hatch, is at least practice of some sort.

Subconciously perhaps – but I genuinely think that rehearsing moves and simulating real life actions can only help when it comes down to you, rather than a pixellated Wayne Rooney, needing to find that yard in the box.

Of course, this has to be part of a balanced diet of exercise and gaming – you can’t scrimp on the physicals on the premise a few games of FIFA on Xbox Live will do just as well. But what they will do is further your understanding of how individuals and teams should act and move during a match. And that can only make you better at football.

I’m sure you’re all familiar with Paul Trevillion’s iconic ‘You Are the Ref’ strips, currently running in the Guardian (with the help of Keith Hackett). Well, on a certain football forum, I found these, errr, ‘amended’ versions – which are amazing. Read on to see what I mean…

This is what they normally look like – genuine dilemmas that you may (but in all honesty probably won’t) face as a Ref… (You can click on any of the images for a bigger/readable version)

And here is the alternative interpretation…

Hopefully you agree that is genius. Some more…

So there we are. That last one is probably my favourite. In the words of Russell Crowe in Gladiator (what a film) – ‘Are you not entertained?’

I wish I could take the credit for them but alas I am not that funny, and credit where credit is due – I believe the creator goes under the pseudonym/username ‘Jim Beglin’s Hairy Knees’ on the Football365 Forum. Cheers Jim/JBHK. Drop me a line if you resent my plagiarism…

The Twitter bandwagon is in full flow – some would say slowing down, almost – and there is a steady trickle of footballers and football related Twitterers appearing in the micro-blogging sphere. It really hit the back (and front) pages with Darren Bent’s Twitter ‘rant’ at Daniel Levy a few weeks back – but did you know that Hull’s new striker, signed on the back of Daryl Murphy and Bobby Zamora turning them down, was also there? Read on for a small but growing directory of footballers on Twitter…

Firstly, if you are a Twitter user, make sure to follow us first: @footballsup.

And here is an article from EPL talk, where they pick six of the ‘biggest’ footballers on Twitter…

Steven Gerrard (Liverpool) – 15,303 followers – One of the biggest names in English football is on Twitter. He’s only sent 8 tweets as of press time, most of which are pretty harmless, but let’s hope he gets inspired this summer and during next season to post more insightful tweets.

Wayne Rooney (Manchester United) – 3,239 followers – “Folks asking why I’m not on facebook,” said Wayne Rooney in a recent tweet. “and I prefer [Twitter] really cos it seems more of a community thing.” So sayeth Rooney who gets more personal than Gerrard on Twitter. The Man United and England striker tweets mostly about his reaction to how well he played (or not) for his club and country.

Jonathan Woodgate (Tottenham Hotspur) - 936 followers – Who doesn’t love a footballer who admits on Twitter that he helped show his mother how to use YouTube? Jonathan Woodgate tweets about that experience and communicates directly with many Spurs fans showing that as well as being a classy defender, he also knows how to effectively use Twitter. (FOOTBALLSUP UPDATE: After the Darren Bent saga, Spurs have forbidden any of their players from using Twitter. So Wodgate’s account has now been deleted. Shame)

Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United) – 1,727 followers – Whether he’s basking in the sun in ridiculous shorts or being a fixture of Manchester United’s defense, Ferdinand can be occasionally found tweeting. Most of his tweets are in response to questions and comments made by Manchester United supporters.

Brad Guzan (Aston Villa) – 251 followers – The number two goalkeeper for Aston Villa takes Twitter’s 140 character limit to the extreme with the majority of his posts consisting of two to three words. Nevertheless, Guzan offers some insights into his travels with the Villa and US national team.

Peter Crouch (Portsmouth) – 51 followers – The Portsmouth and England striker has unfortunately been neglecting his Twitter account and has only posted a few times in the last several months hence the low number of followers. Let’s hope “Crouchy’s Having His Nachos” does better in the Twitter department during the 2009-2010 season.

And a few more less celebrated denizens of the footballing fraternity:

Shay Given – @Shay_Given
Rohan Ricketts – @rohanricketts
Matthew Etherington – @Etherington26
Ryan Shawcross – @RShawcross87
James Beattie – @JSBeattie
Rory Delap – @DelapSCFC
Jozy Altidore (Hull’s new striking sensation) – @JozyAltidore17
Freddy Adu – @freddyadu11
Stan Collymore – @stancollymore
Mark Bright – @markbrighty
Daniel Sturridge – @Danny_Sturridge
Robert Earhshaw -  @robertearnshaw
Landon Donavon – @Landon_Donovan
Danny Dichio – @DannyDichio
Harry Redknapp – @harrysblog
Giuseppe Rossi – @GiuRo22
Daniel Gabbidon – @TheRealGabbidon
Darren Bent – @DBTheTruth
Ryan Giggs – @Ryan_Giggs
David Beckham – @beckham
Jermaine Defoe – @JCDefoe
Carlos Tevez – @carlitotevez
Maurice Edu – @mauriceedu
Carl Robinson – @CarlRobinson33
Jim Brennan – @jimmyBrennan
Dwayne DeRosario – @DwayneDeRosario
Jonathan DeGuzman – @jdeguz
Julian De Guzman – @JBDEGUZZI
Ryan Babel – @ryanbabel19
Vurnon Anita = @Vurnon

This list is constantly evolving and will be continually updated and added to… let us know if you know of any more!