Is it this?

Certainly up there. Assault on the ref has to be admired, Di Canio, take a bow. But is that better than assault on a paramedic? Andre Bikey everyone:

I’d argue both pale into comparison with assault on a fan. Look how collected Cantona seems before he launches himself into Matthew Simmonds. Genius.

Assaults on fellow players can still be entertaining – but probably suffer from over-exposure. At least the ones above are rarities. This is my favourite – if at first you don’t succeed, try again. And then again. Until you NAIL him. Nice one Benjamin Massing.

This is another good one from Totti – absolutely nails Ballotelli:

And though not strictly a Red (albeit about 20 people deserved one) this fight is awesome, from Valencia v Inter a couple of years back:

What made this one even better was Jamie Redknapp’s commentary afterwards: “No one likes to see that Richard but look, fist comes round and BOOOOOMMMMM! Perfect punch” Ha.

But this is still my all-time favourite. There’s just one thought in his mind, no doubt, no indecision. He sprints half the length of the pitch to do it, knowing that one thing and one thing only can save Utd’s title chances. Smashing through Rob Lee.

I love his simple ‘I had to do it’ to Becks on the way off, and the sympathetic pat he receives in return. Perhaps the best thing about it is that he probably could have tackled him legitimately after all the ground he made up. But none of that legal tackle bollocks for Ole. SMASH.

Got any good ones? Send them to contact@footballsup.com or post them below…

To be a footballer would be to live the dream – but you do have to make sacrifices. Here are some who have really taken the freedom of retirement to heart – heart disease, that is…

This was prompted by a picture of Neil Shipperly I stumbled across – remember him? Battling striker who played for Chelsea, amongst others? Look at the transformation… (left is now, in case you didn’t realise)

Unfortunately Shipperley has also balded significantly, emphasising the ravages of age (believe me, I know how he feels). He’s not the only one fighting the fat though – not by a long way. It happens to current players as well – remember this slimline, promising 18 year old at Man City?

Yep, that’s the vaguely angelic looking Michael Johnson. Just look at him now…

Again baldness has accentuated his physical decline – but he appears to have aged twenty years in just two. And the greats are not immune either:

Ronaldinho there, showing that losing your hair and your slimline figure can be mutually exclusive. Whereas he’s retained his flowing locks, he’s certainly lost his definition.

A few other footballs who’ve packed on the pounds since quitting (in fairness, who can blame them – a life of restraint and abstinence must have an equal and opposite)…

I don’t think anyone is unaware of Maradona’s physical decline, but there it is in the starkest possible form. Not sure how much restraint and abstinence he employed though.

Mick Quinn was always a bit of a fatty, but now he’s absolutely enormous.

Big Nev is now REALLY Big Nev. And I can only presume that caption refers to his dinner.

Anyone who watched the FA Cup draw will have seen the adipose behemoth Neil Ruddock has become.

Recognise him, second from right?

Yep (assuming you said ‘Jamie Pollock’) – that’s Jamie Pollock. Remember him?

And lastly, our favourite Scandinavin fatty, Thomas Brolin – before…

And now:

We all know the footballers people rightly or wrongly abuse for being fat – Charlie Adam, Andy Reid (perhaps the heaviest centre midfield partnership the Premier League has seen?), Wayne Rooney, and of course ‘Fat’ Frank Lampard – but they have nothing on the above. Where Jan Molby led, others have followed. And I for one, salute them.

Any other obeasts spring to mind? Comment below or drop us a line on contact@footballsup.com.

Originally from Goal.com – I just like the photos, which I’ve only just found…

Former Brazil, Barcelona and Milan star Rivaldo will make a return to Brazilian football in the 2011 Paulista for tiny club Mogi Mirim, of whom the player is also president.

The 38 year-old has not played competitive football since leaving Uzbekistani outfit Bunyodkor in August, and it has been seven years since he has played for a Brazilian club.

Nevertheless, the attacking midfielder announced on Twitter today that he plans to return with Mogi Mirim, who were one of the first teams he ever played for as a teenager and have had the player as their president since 2008.

“After sorting out a lot of things outside of the country, I have decided to play the Paulista 2011 for Mogi Mirim, of whom I am President,” the ex-international posted on the social network.

The last few years of Rivaldo’s career have seen him change clubs frequently, with spells in Greece with Olympiacos and Uzbekistan bringing domestic success to the clubs involved.

Mogi Mirim, based in the town of the same name 160 km away from Sao Paulo, finished 12th in last year’s first phase of the State Championship, but do not play in the national championship. Rivaldo played for the club for two years in 1992-93, playing 30 times with 10 goals.

Here they are – I assume some sort of Photoshop or cut our wizardry (seems more likely than him existing as two separate entities) – the lack of reflection in the first suggests he is some sort of vampire though.

Original article here

1. Karim Benzema (Mesut Ozil assist) (Ajax v Real Madrid, November 23, 2010)

2. Matheus (Braga v Arsenal, November 23, 2010)

3. Mehmet Guven (Eskisehirspor v Manisaspor, November 26, 2010) (First goal on the video)

4. Humberto Mendoza (Cucuta Deportivo v Atletico Nacional, November 26, 2010)

5. Chris Brunt (Everton v West Brom, November 27, 2010)

6. Mark Davies (Bolton v Blackpool, November 27, 2010)

7. Emmanuel Gigliotti (Siena v Novara, November 27, 2010)

8. Antonio Di Natale (Udinese v Napoli, November 28, 2010)

9. Cicero (Cologne v Wolfsburg, November 28, 2010) (pitcured)

10. Dinei (Palmeiras v Fluminense, November 28, 2010)

***

Narrowly missing the list were goals from Mikkel Thygesen, Franco Niell, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Ronaldinho, Javier Garrido, Maxi Lopez, Ciaran Clark, Martin Petrov, Somen Tchoyi, Paddy McCourt, Adel Taarabt, Chumbinho, Santi Carorla, Marcos Senna, Pedro Rios, Mehdi Carcela, Fatos Beciraj, Sidney Sam, Eduardo da Silva, Marek Hamsik, Marama Vahirua, Antonio Nocerino, Roberto Soldado, Oscar Cardozo, Luis Rodriguez, Endo and Caio.

I wrote that last post with five minutes left in the Villa game, wondering if they could hold on for the win.

They did – but only by scoring again after Everton equalised!

3-2 Villa it finished – two goals each for Lescott and Young, after Sidwell gave the away side the lead after just 30 seconds, the quickest goal of the season so far.

Fantasy managers who didn’t take Young out this week will be celebrating….

Sunday usually means football and X Factor repeats. Rarely do they collide…

All the Big Four won, keeping the top of the table the same (well not the same – different points and goal difference, but you know what I mean…)

This meant Blackburn lost – again – as did Sunderland, more unluckily (Vidic scoring in the 90th minute when playing as an auxiliary striker). With Keane gone, you do not have to look much further from Ewood Park for the next managerial casualty.

Hull got back to winning ways against Boro, and both other games were 1-1; Fulham Man City, and today West Brom and Portsmouth.

There are currently five minutes left in the Everton Villa game, a big match for both sides that looks to be going to the away side thanks to a horrific Phil Jagielka error letting in Ashley Young.

A London derby – Spurs West Ham – rounds off this week’s action. There’s also Champions League this week, with English sides likely to rest players – except Chelsea, who face the frightening prospect of failing to qualify if they don’t win.

As ever, results, scorers etc from all the divisions are best from the BBC.

Cristiano Ronaldo and Portugal were humbled as Brazil destroyed them 6-2 in the early hours of this morning, aided by a Luis Fabiano hat-trick.

You can watch the highlights here.

Seriously, Carlos Quieroz – go back to being a Number two. You failed at Madrid, and after drawing with Albania and Sweden since losing to Denmark (who themselves lost to Wales at home last night) you look to be failing here.

Maybe you could go and work under Joe Kinnear at Newcastle…

As a relevant aside; can you identify this player?

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