Playalikes: Number Five: Theo Wright-Lennon

Lookalikes are ten-a-penny – anyone can make Dirk Kuyt look like Sloth from the Goonies, or Peter Reid look like a monkey. It takes more to put two people together stylistically and functionally; players who remind you of one another, players who play like each other – players that could be clones of one another. Playalikes. Number five in our series is a first – Threealikes. Three players who play the same. Three!

Newcastle Bare Teeth in Relegation Dogfight

After a series of tepid displays, Newcastle and Shearer finally came good (after two points from five games) by beating Middlesbrough. ‘Boro were perhaps a tad unlucky, looking decent but unpenetrative. The story of their season. With this win, Newcastle took a huge stride towards safety, leaving Hull 1/3 to go down. And Sunderland fans must be nervous…

A Derby and a Relegation Battle… By Gareth Freeman

On Monday May 11th Middlesbrough make the short journey to St James’ Park to take on Newcastle United in what should be an ethralling relegation battle. Both sides desperately need three points if they are to put together a run and make a last dash towards survival and the game should be appraoched by the players like a cup-final.

Rubbish!

You’ll think twice before chucking your betting slips on to the pitch after watching the key moment in determining the outcome of the Uefa Cup semi-final between Hamburg and Werder Bremen. With the tie poised at 2-2 on aggregate, Hamburg’s Michael Gravgaard thought he was about to play an easy backpass to his goalkeeper, but the ball hit a crumpled ball of paper, bounced off his shin and out for a corner. You’ve guessed it, Bremen subsequently scored the decisive goal to reach the final. See it at the 1:46 minute mark of the video.

Didier Drogba: Despicable ****

Heartbreak for Chelsea last night as they went out on away goals thanks to Andres Iniesta’s 93rd minute strike. It’s difficult to feel sorry for them, though – Ballack’s haranguing of the ref, Terry’s aggressive bleating, and worst of all Drogba’s disgusting behaviour make most Englishmen happy to seem them go. We’ve talked about our hatred of the petulent Ivorian before – but that fire of hatred has been reignited in spades…

Poor Darren Fletcher

So, Man Utd are through to a second successive Champions League final. But poor Darren Fletcher will not be there after a refereeing error saw him receive a red card for what was an excellent tackle on Cesc Fabregas.

How the referee did not see the deviation of the ball after Fletcher’s intervention only he will know.

But what is perhaps more criminal than the inept refereeing is UEFA’s lack of an appeal process. No matter how horrendous the error, no referee can have his decision changed (other than in a case of mistaken identity). This reeks of arrogance – a refusal to admit that their officials are fallible.

After an excellent tackle that should have prevented a goalscoring opportunity turned into a red card and a converted penalty, Darren Fletcher will beg to differ.

He now misses the biggest game of his life, totally and entirely unjustly. The referee, and UEFA, should be ashamed.

Fantasy Football – The Final Straight

We are right at the business end of the season now, and long term picks are no longer an option. Go with your convictions each week, and go for quick, easy, dirty points. I am still reeling from the decision to leave Arshavin on the bench the week he scored four – so I’m now going for a full strength eleven with rubbish subs. Looking at this week, the obvious stand out is United’s double header – away to Man City, and home to Wigan. Wigan also have two games, the first of which is away to West Brom, so may offer some appeal; but United are now well and truly over their blip and should offer a generous return…

The Winners, the Losers, the Ups, the Downs, and the Playoffs…

With four games left in the Premiership, and the Championship and Leagues One and Two heading into the playoff period, we take a look through the divisions at who’s up, who’s down, and what’s still to be decided… (Thanks to the BBC)